


Local Man Doesn't Realize He's Dating an Idol

by Lightheaded_Dullahan



Series: Pedestal [1]
Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Additional Characters to be added, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, I do not know how to write abo well, I forget this is abo like half the time tbh, Idol AU, Idol stuff comes in later, Kunti means well most of the time, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, References to Sex, Romantic Comedy?, Siegfried doesn't follow idol news in the slighest, Stalking for comedy, The people tagged are the ones who are going to show up repeatably, This is half serious half a joke, but im trying, emphasis on most, instead of smut you get a/b/o science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-12 23:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 34,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21484588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightheaded_Dullahan/pseuds/Lightheaded_Dullahan
Summary: “You kick me out...so you could sleep with someone.”“That is what you said to do.”“I wasn’t being serious.”
Relationships: Karna | Lancer of Red/Siegfried | Saber of Black
Series: Pedestal [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1470809
Comments: 179
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you came for omega Karna you should leave now cause it ain't here.
> 
> As for why this is ABO...D8ONO. 
> 
> I'm really sorry if the ABO dynamics aren't that in-focus for this and that's what you came for.

Siegfried awoke with a clear hangover pulsing in his head. In someone else’s bed. It certainly wasn’t his. His bed didn’t have the nearly pure white sheets this one had. More importantly, his room wasn’t full of such expensive furniture. He slowly got out from under the warm covers, finding his entire body ached despite him waking up not too long ago. On the bedtable nearest to him, he found clothes- his clothes, folded neatly next to a glass of water and a painkiller pill. Along with a note that he can use the bathroom to wash up. It took another moment for him to realize the pain along his lower back was not the same pain from the hangover. 

The room had large windows covered by curtains. Siegfried peered out after picking up his clothes to find him looking over a majority of buildings. This was a big indicator this was not his house. Unless his house turned into a penthouse overnight. He closed the curtains and sincerely hoped his clothes covered up enough in case someone looked up. 

The bathroom was another big indicator this could not be his house. It had both a shower and a bath in sperate locations, with its own smaller room for the toilet and sink. It was imposing to Siegfried. How on earth did he end up here? And more pressing, how on earth did this shower work? There were enough buttons there to make his own shower look like it came from the 1800s. 

When he had cleaned up and changed back into his clothes, he opened the door which greeted him with a dining area where the smell of breakfast emanated. Slowly, he closed the door and walked towards the table. The table was empty save for glasses of water and a plate of fruit. No sight of the source of the smell. Siegfried looked around to see a kitchen island with a white-haired man beyond it. The soft sizzle of a pan indicated that this was the source of the smell. Siegfried sat down at one of the bar chairs near the island as the toast popped out from the toaster. 

“Uh, good morning.”

“Good morning. I’m making eggs.”

It was then the previous night started to come back to Siegfried. He had been dragged out by Astolfo for social drinking. At some point in the night, he had begun a conversation with a man who was wearing a hood and sunglasses. It took him a second to piece together who that was, it was the white-haired man cooking breakfast. He recalled he had introduced himself as Karna. Other than that, all he really recalled was them drinking together. He supposed where he was now meant it had gone further than just that. 

He felt almost embarrassed over that. He ended up going to a bar for the second time of his life and he had drunkenly slept with someone. Who, in all likelihood, was also drunk at the time. Judging by the low lighting the person was also hungover. 

The sizzling seemed to stop as Karna turned around and used the spatula to scrape the eggs onto a plate. He passed the plate over to Siegfreid along with the salt and pepper. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Just tired.”

“Sorry,” It was as if Karna saw through the white lie. 

“It’s fine really.”

Siegfried could deal with the now dulling pain. It wasn’t that bad. Karna turned back to cook more eggs, and Siegfried thought more on the previous night. 

He remembered a certain scent from the previous night. It had been when he and Karna were talking. A flash of panic ran across his face. Was Karna an Omega? Had he marked him? His fork had stilled in the air as scenarios played in his mind. Then came up the question on if Karna was one, why was he the one with a sore backside?

“Karna,” The man looked over his shoulder, “by any chance are you an Omega?”

“Ah, no, sorry if you were expecting that.”

“I was just curious.”

That answered a few questions. He was either an Alpha like Siegfried or a Beta. That was fine. No need to panic over accidentally bonding with an Omega after a drunken night. Siegfried ate his eggs in a shared silence with Karna, who was making more eggs. He finished his eggs and opened his mouth to speak only for a door to be slammed open. He froze as footsteps stomped towards them. 

“KARNA! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU KICK ME OUT For...”

The other person stopped short in their yelling to gawk at Siegfried. Siegfried returned the stare back as his head pulsed in pain. The panic rushed back. Was this Karna’s significant other? Had he cheated? Was he just a roommate? Siegfried was certain he was sweating. 

“Yo.”

“Who is this?”

“This is Siegfried. Siegfried, this is Arjuna.”

Siegfried raised a hand in an awkward wave. The other person, Arjuna, gazed blankly at him. It looked as if a thousand thoughts were running through his mind. Karna walked over with a plate of eggs and a fork, putting them into Arjuna’s hands and returning to the stove. Arjuna continued to stare for what seemed like hours before he sat down at the island. He ate his eggs as Siegfried sat next to him, silently panicking. 

“You kick me out...so you could sleep with someone.”

“That is what you said to do.”

“I wasn’t being serious,” Arjuna sounded exasperated. 

Siegfried looked down at his plate. He should have expected a roommate with that kind of kitchen. Who would live alone with a kitchen the size of a small apartment? He felt very out of place, this entire place was likely bigger than his house he shared with his brothers. An apartment. Bigger than his house. The thought was scary. 

The sound of the door being slammed open and closed again made Siegfried jolt. Arjuna let out a yelp as he held the side of his mouth, he had bitten into his silverware hard. Karna just kept moving the eggs in the pan around to scramble them before piling them onto another plate. Heavy steps filled the air as someone rounded the corner. Unlike Arjuna, this person cut a very intimidating figure. The glare that was already present on his face deepened as he scowled. 

“WHY IS THIS GUY EVEN HERE!?”

“Please don’t yell.”

Karna’s monotone sounded like a whisper compared to the guy’s yelling. He didn’t seem to react much besides giving him a plate of eggs as well and then sitting down next to Siegfried. The guy just grumbled and ate the eggs standing near the island. Siegfried’s ears were ringing. What kind of lungs did that guy have?

His eyes drifted over to Karna, specifically the fact the plate he had. It was empty, spotless even. Even his silverware didn’t have any small piece of egg left on it. 

“Are you not hungry?”

“Ah, I already ate.”

Breakfast had otherwise been uneventful. Siegfried had spent the remaining time figuring out what had happened with Karna. Mainly the timeline of what had happened. They had come up with a somewhat concrete timeline. What happened after they arrived at the apartment was lost on both of them. As was the reason they ended up there. Karna had asked the unnamed third person- his name still an enigma to him if he remembered anything. 

“Other than the fact you went off around 12 with that guy, I ain’t got anythin’ newsworthy.”

It was a solid enough timeline even with the missing information. 

After Siegfried felt he was overstaying his welcome- as evident by the ever-increasing glare at his back, he was directed by Karna where the nearest bus station was. He also found himself exchanging numbers with the man. The small smile that graced Karna’s lips as he typed in the number into his phone was almost adorable. 

“It was nice meeting you, Siegfried.”

When he was on the bus towards the library near his home, he checked his phone for the first time since the previous night. It was at an abysmal 9% and Siegfried was certain he had over 50 text messages. As he checked over them, the majority was from Astolfo. It went from concerned to teasing to concerned once again. There had been a dozen or so from his two brothers. Not to mention the scattered missed calls. He was never going to hear the end of this.

He stepped off the bus and tapped on Sigurd’s number. He should get the lecture out of the way now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Ah, what are you doing here?”_
> 
> _“My brother, school supplies.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know anything about how idol rating work? No, I do not.

He saw him again three days later. 

Siegfried had received a scolding from Sigurd- ignoring the fact Sigurd was the younger of the two- when he returned home. Which was followed by concerned questioning by Sieg who had been relaying it all to Astolfo. Brunhild had questioned him afterward, inquiring about who he was with. It had been overwhelming, to say the least. Siegfried barely had a moment to himself for the rest of the day. 

Now, he had been out with Sieg to pick up some books for his school assignments when he saw the hooded figure. At first, it didn’t connect, until he noticed they were standing next to the dark-haired person from the days prior. Siegfried and the hooded person looked at one another in surprise. At least he thought they did, Karna’s eyes were obscured by his sunglasses. 

They stood silently as they looked at each other. Siegfried raised his arm in a sad attempt at a wave. Was he supposed to do that? Should he just go up to talk to him? How was he supposed to start a conversation? Thankfully, Karna had already begun to walk towards him and start the conversation. 

“Ah, what are you doing here?”

“My brother, school supplies.”

Karna gave a hum and nodded. He pointed to the dark-haired person from before- Arjuna if Siegfried remembered correctly. It looked like he was comparing a set of pens. 

“Mine as well. He’s peculiar about this sort of thing.”

There was a lull of silence. Siegfried wasn’t good at keeping a conversation, and it appeared as if Karna was the same. Another moment passed before Karna spoke up again. 

“I didn’t give you my number last time, sorry.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine.” 

Karna pulled out his phone from his pocket and handed it over to Siegfried. He fumbled with pulling out his own and putting the number on the screen into his contact list. That smile from before graced Karna’s face once again before disappearing. 

Sieg was still looking through the book section. Siegfried could hear the books being pulled out and put back in front where he stood. Arjuna now had a third set of pens he was comparing. He was frowning as he turned over the packaging. 

“Um, if I can ask, why are you wearing the hoodie indoors?”

“Ah,” Karna turned his head to the side, “I burn very easily, so I have to keep covered.”

He was very pale. Almost like a ghost. Siegfried wondered if he was an albino by any chance. That would explain the drastic color difference between him and his brother. Of course, one could be adopted, or they just happen to look far more like one parent over the other. Siegfried shook his head. He shouldn’t be thinking about that sort of thing. 

Siegfried looked around, trying to find something that he could use to continue the conversation. The store’s layout made that difficult. The bookshelves obscured anything behind them, and the other half of the store was near all the same height making it hard to tell when one product started and another ended. His eyes landed on what looked to a CD case. 

“What kind of music do you like?”

“Hm...I don’t really have a preference. I often listen to my brother’s songs though.”

“Your brother’s?”

“Mh, he’s an idol.”

Siegfried looked back over to where Arjuna was. An idol? Sieg usually got school supplies here, did that mean he was still in school? Siegfried usually thought of idols as those who no longer went to school, how else would they have time to do all those performances? 

“Yes, he’s a Net Idol.”

“Net Idol?”

Karna opened his phone and typed something in. He turned the screen for Siegfried to see. On the screen was a picture of what he thought was an album cover. It almost looked liked Arjuna. The hair looked fluffier and he had what looked like cat ears or horns atop his head. The more lizard-like tail didn’t help figure out what it was. It looked as if he was curled around a small sphere with a universe inside. The text ‘Lamplight of The Soul’ was written along the side of the picture in cursive letters. There was a name listed underneath the picture. 

“Juna...o?”

“Mh, that’s the name he uses.”

“Is he popular?”

“He’s up in the top 9 of the Most Popular Idol list. He called a Top Idol. He’s the only one to start as a Net Idol on the list that high up.”

“Oh, that’s very impressive.”

Siegfried did not know what half of that meant. He wasn’t one to keep up with idols. Sieg likely knew more, he was dating one after all. Siegfried just didn’t have much interest in the drama. He greatly preferred to stay out of it. He dealt with enough of that in the past. 

“Do you want to listen,” Karna asked as he offered up an earbud.

“Sure.”

Karna tapped ‘play’ on a song titled An Arrow Towards You. It was an energetic song. Siegfried found himself bobbing along with the beat ever so slightly. It sounded like Arjuna was really enjoying the song he was singing. Karna tapped ‘pause’ on a chorus line as someone tapped on his shoulder. 

“Ah, did you find the pens?”

Arjuna held up a pack of pens with a proud smile on his face. They looked like fountain pens. Siegfried wasn’t even aware those could be bought here. 

“Of course I did, I told you it would be here,” he paused, “What are you doing?”

“I was showing Siegfried your music, from the new album.”

“It’s very good.”

In almost an instant Arjuna’s face dropped its smile into a scowl. 

“Oh.”

He mumbled something under his breath as he walked past them towards the checkout. Siegfried wasn’t sure how to react. Was it bad to compliment the song?

“He’s embarrassed.”

“Huh?”

“He doesn’t like it when I show people his things, it embarrasses him,” Karna clarified. 

That made sense to Siegfried. Sieg wasn’t always a fan of being talked about by him or Sigurd. Especially not when it was about anything he was working on. A younger sibling being embarrassed by their older sibling, a normal sort of thing. Karna took back the earbud and put his phone away in his pocket. As he was doing that Sieg turned the corner with his books in hand along with a receipt.

“I bought the books, is there anything you were going to buy?”

“We can leave now if you want.”

Sieg nodded and turned to leave. Siegfried stayed a few more seconds with Karna. He should say something. 

“Would you mind if we meet up again?”

“I would like that.”

Siegfried smiled. That was nice to hear. He had been told he should go out with people more. Repeatedly. Karna waved goodbye as he walked over to his brother who was waiting by the entrance. 

Now all he had to do was figure out what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire thing is probably just going to be me trying to get A/B/O and Idol AU to coexist without one overpowering the other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Siegfried, you will not BELIEVE the morning I had!”_
> 
> _“You two will not BELIEVE the asshole I meet this morning!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is six hours ahead of schedule

In all the years Siegfried had known his friend Hagen, the man never once used the spare key to Siegfried’s house. He rarely left his own house unless it was for work or pick up groceries. He was also a very grim and bitter person. Siegfried could count on his fingers how many times he had ever seen him smile. Hagen was not the type of person for pleasant conversation. So when he burst into the house three minutes to three with the largest smile Siegfried had ever seen on him, it was considerable cause for alarm. 

“Siegfried, you will not BELIEVE the morning I had!”

In a different part of the city, at almost the same time, Arjuna stomped into the foyer of the penthouse. Karna looked up from the movie he and Ashwatthama were watching. Homemade popcorn sat in a large bowl between the two. The bodyguard ate another handful of popcorn as Arjuna began to rant over the movie’s dialogue.

“You two will not BELIEVE the asshole I meet this morning!”

“What exactly happened?”

“Alright, so it’s the start of the lunch rush,” Hagen began as the other occupants of the house shifted nervously in their seats, “and this guy walks up to the truck and looks at the menu-”

“There was an almost ridiculous offer on there, 5 ice creams for 50 bucks. 10 bucks per ice cream. Every other thing on there is normally price, but this damn thing is 50 bucks. 50 BUCKS-”

“So he starts complaining about the big combination on the menu-”

“And he said ‘No one asked you idol boy’. Can you believe that!”

“...He’s not wrong though.”

“Shut up Karn-”

“I mean he looked like one of those idol boys, anyways, he got all huffy about that.”

“Why do you even have a $50 option?”

“Because no one asked you, faker.”

“Please stop calling me that.”

“Not going to happen, so then-”

“The conversation was interrupted by someone else coming to buy ice cream so-”

“He stepped out of the way and waited patiently until I was done with the customer-”

“And once she was gone we went back to arguing, I said the ice cream didn’t deserve to be that expensive, he said I didn’t know how to taste so he shoved a sample cup at me, it turns out the ice cream is actually super good- criminal even, so that’s how I ended up with all this ice cream,” Arjuna pointed to the bag that he had plopped on the table in the living room. 

“And that’s how I ended up being $200 richer because I argued with a customer.” Hagen crossed his arms with a smug look on his face. 

“While that’s fantastic, why are you in the house. You never come over when Siegfried isn’t the only one here.” Sigurd chimed in. 

“To rub in your stupid faces, why else?”

Sigurd and Sieg exchanged an exasperated look. Over a decade of knowing this man and they still had no idea how to deal with him. No one did. No one outside his two roommates- one of which they were certain was actually insane, and Siegfried. Even then they weren’t sure those three always did. 

“So where are you going?”

Siegfried looked over his shoulder as he put on his jacket, “Uh, just a date.”

Hagen’s nearly hysterical laughter died in his throat when Siegfried closed the door behind him. He looked over to the two people who were also in the room. Sigurd’s coffee was spilling onto the table as Sieg’s lunch stayed an inch away from his mouth. For once in their lives, they all had the same thought on their minds. He...he wasn’t serious, was he?

“Oi, where are you off to?”

“Date.”

That was all Karna said as he pulled the hat over his hair and left the penthouse. Arjuna slowly gazed over to Ashwatthama with a spoonful of ice cream still in his mouth. The bodyguard's brows furrowed as his mouth turned down into a scowl. 

“We’re following him, right?”

“No shit idol boy.”

The aquarium was not Siegfried’s first choice. Mainly because he had never gone to one before. His experience with fish watching was limited to the fishing he had done as a kid. Karna had said something about petting jellyfish in his description which piqued his interest. To his knowledge jellyfish were highly dangerous to touch. Maybe it was jellyfish that didn’t have stingers? Siegfried’s mind went to birds who had their flight feathers clipped so they didn’t go flying off somewhere. 

Karna pulled out his wallet when they reached the front of the line to pay for the tickets. Siegfried was gawking at the tank behind the desks, where various colorful fish swam around as people bought their tickets. The cashier handed back two lanyards with the attached passes. Siegfried was shaken out of his fish-influenced stupor by Karna as he walked towards the second entrance where the scanners were. Karna readjusted his bulky sunglasses as they head down the hallway that had its ceiling and the top half of its walls covered with clear glass as a multitude of fish swam by. As Siegfried ogled at the water above his head, Karna watched with a small smile on his face. 

Arjuna peered past the corner of the tank. Karna and Siegfried were watching the shark tank as a tiger shark swam by, He pulled up his jacket collar and spoke into the small microphone that was clipped on. 

“Hey, stalker.”

“What, stalker?” Ashwatthama’s voice resonated from the small earpiece.

“What are your visuals?”

“Sun’s moving,” he paused, “he’s got the look.”

“_The_ look?”

“_**The**_ look.”

Arjuna turned away from his corner. The goddamn look. He held a hand up to his mouth in shock. That look only meant one thing. 

Siegfried’s hands twitched in hesitance. Karna’s hands were already moving across soothingly. Siegfried’s eyes flicked to Karna as if waiting for some sort of approval. Karna simply smiled his ghost of a smile at him. He swallowed as he looked back at what was beneath his hands. This was...legal, right?

“Sir, they won’t sting you, just be gentle.”

He slowly dropped his hand to pet the jellyfish. It was a strange feeling. Squishy. It was like a water balloon that moved around in the water slowly. He nearly yanked his hand back a few times before taking a deep breath and continuing to pet the jellies. 

Karna was petting them as if it was something he did every day. If jellyfish could make noise, Siegfried had a feeling they would be purring. Or maybe he was thinking of his old cat. He had been like liquid with his movement. Serpentine almost. He voiced this thought to Karna who stroked the top of the jelly thoughtfully.

“They remind me of Panda.”

“Panda?”

“My pet, his name is Panda.”

“Ah.”

Strange name for a cat. But to be fair neither had been Fafnir. That cat hasn’t been very soft, however. Fafnir had been a hairless thing that hoarded all it wanted in his cat bed. Specifically old socks. He still found them sometimes.

“Hey, stalker, what’s the stat?”

“They are either talking about starting things here or the Jabberwock’s near.”

“The fuck’s a Jabberwock?”

“Lewis Carrol, know some classics you yankee.”

“Not everyone is a nerd idol boy— wait what do you mean ‘starting things here’?”

“I need to get clooOSER–”

Karna and Siegfried turned around from the Amazon exhibit to see Arjuna mere inches away from there. There was a look of pure panic in his eyes as he steadied himself. Siegfried could feel his cheeks heat up in second-hand embarrassment.

“Uh.”

“Don’t you have school work?”

“...Perhaps.”

Arjuna stares at them silently. 

“I’m just...gonna go.” He held his hand up in a loose point towards the exit as he walked away. 

“Is that-“

“Normal? Yes. Do your brothers not do that?”

“They aren’t sneaky.”

Karna shook his head with a small smile. Siegfried wondered if his other brothers were like Arjuna. While they were watching the seals, Karna had started talking about families. Siegfried remembered snapping his head from the seal’s flip to gawk at Karna’s flat expression as he spoke of growing up with over a hundred younger cousins. Siegfried had lived a small family life with his parents and his brothers. But over a hundred cousins, that he saw on a regular basis as well, that sounded like madness. Much less to remember all those names. 

Even more surprising was the fact he had more brothers. Four others to be precise. Arjuna was the middle child of the brothers’ collective. Two older than him excluding Karna and two younger. Siegfried asked why he and the oldest 3 were so close in age but the youngest two had a bigger age gap. He felt guilty asking that as Karna looked away as he simply replied ‘family matters’. He tried to distract from it by asking what his brothers did instead. 

“Yudhishthira runs a business. He’s very busy, so he’s usually out of town. Bhima’s in a similar position, always out of town for work. It’s more for food-related reasons, he’s a cook of sorts.”

“For only have a year difference they sure are busy.”

“Ah, our mother has high hopes for all of us, so it’s often busy. Nakula and Sahadeva are both already in high-intensity classes.”

“Is she overbearing?”

“No,” there was was a pause before he shook his head, “she’s just a regular mother.”

Karna turned the conversation talking about Siegfried’s own brothers. Sigurd and his wife Brynhild lived with him and Sieg; as they had gotten hitched about halfway through high school. Brynhild worked in a book store while Sigurd tutored what he had heard Sieg’s friend call ‘Rich Kids Supreme’. Karna chuckled at that behind his hand as they walked away from the exhibit. 

“This was fun,” Karna brushed his hand against Siegfried’s, “would you mind if we did it again?”

‘Oh, no, I’d like that a lot.”

“I’m glad.”

“How did your date go,” Sigurd inquired as Siegfried walked into the house.

“I’ve been invited to another one.”

Siegfried smiled to himself as he put up his jacket. Sigurd, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes. Something didn’t sit right with him on this. This mystery guy had ulterior motives, he was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are about two more chapters before shit hits the fan- which actually translates to one to seven business chapters. Expresses shipping not available.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Is Siegfried here?”_  
“Who’s Siegfried?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't have a concept of time
> 
> Enjoy the chapter that's totally not a two-parter

Sieg nearly choked on his pancakes when something began to pound on the door. He got up and looked through the peephole. He couldn’t make out what was on the other side, it looked like black clothes. Where robbers suddenly knocking on doors in broad daylight to alert the person about to be robbed? With a bit of hesitation, Sieg opened the door wide enough for him to look out but not enough for anyone to pass through.

“Can I help you?”

“Is Siegfried here?”

Sieg blinked a few times. The voice hadn’t come from the guy with an angry look on his face who was glaring down at him. It had come from the slightly shorter- but still taller than him, man with a pair of sunglasses on. Sieg carefully considered his next response. 

“Who’s Siegfried?”

Internally Sieg slapped himself. His brain had combined ‘who’s asking’ and ‘Siegfried isn’t here’. He felt as if correcting himself at this point would make the whole situation worse and began to close the door in embarrassment. He froze when he heard his older brother call out. 

“Sieg, who's at the door?” 

“Uh, two guys looking for Siegfried.”

Sigurd opened the door and kept his hand on the handle. Sieg was now behind his arm that blocked the doorway. The angry red-haired guy still stood above Sigurd in height, while the guy with glasses stood eye to eye with him. That wasn’t going to intimidate the man. 

“What do you want with my brother?”

“I’m taking him out.”

Alarms started to go off in Sigurd’s head. That could mean a lot of things. Was this guy coming to kill his brother? There was no way someone could be confident in killing someone with so many possible witnesses, much less announce it. But something was sketchy about both these guys. Sigurd was sure of it. 

“Wha--”

“Oh hey, you’re here early.”

Sieg and Sigurd looked back to see Siegfried pulling on a jacket as he approached them. The two did a double-take of the man in sunglasses who gave a wave. This...couldn’t be that mystery guy, right? Was Siegfried starting to hang out with the wrong crowd? A different wrong crowd than the wrong crowd of before, Hagen was his own crowd for better or for worse. 

“There’s more traffic, He pointed his thumb back at the red-haired man, “And Ash came along for the supermarket sale.”

“We’re outta eggs.”

“Oh. Alright.”

When they arrived at the theater and entered the room their tickets were assigned to, Siegfried found that despite a large number of people outside the room was completely empty. They located their seats near the back without any trouble. The previews were still playing when Karna said he would get the snacks. Siegfried handed him the money he had brought, Karna had already bought the seats and had provided the ride so he should pay for his own snacks at the very least.

As the previews continued Siegfried heard the small squeak of the theater chair. He looked over only to find it wasn’t Karna sitting there. With a popcorn bucket in his lap, Arjuna plopped a handful in his mouth as the next trailer played. 

“Uh, Arjuna?”

“Hm?”

“Karna was-”

“He won’t mind me taking his seat.”

Karna climbed up the steps with the snacks and drinks in his arms and what was left of the cash clutched in his hand. His eyes widened slightly when he saw Arjuna but he said nothing as he sat down. Siegfried was almost sure he had heard a sigh over the trailers’ volume. His selected snacks and drink were passed to him as the date now had an apparent third wheel. A very prominent third wheel. 

The trailers ended as the movie’s opening credits began to play. The title appeared after a few minutes, in bold, crisp letters it spelled out ‘The Second Lover’. Siegfried wasn’t sure if this was supposed to be at first. The dark colors and melancholy attitude of the lead character seem to fit more in a horror movie, but the title made it sound more like a romance. He wondered if it could be both. 

As the lead and the love interest were about to share a kiss, Arjuna let out a yelp as he jumped from his seat. His drink was leaking past his hands and onto the floor. He rushed down the steps as he pulled his shirt down. Siegfried could only blink as Karna took his spot and leaned his head on his shoulder. 

“He spilled it.”

“Ah.”

Siegfried took a bite of his popcorn before he felt another set of fingers intertwine with the hand he left laying on the armrest. He let out a relaxed sigh. Now it was an actual date, and not a weird third-wheeling experience. 

“...Karna, what was this rated?”

“...NC-17 according to the ticket.”

Siegfried looked away from the screen with his face slightly red. That kiss scene had gone far past what was acceptable in even an R rating. It was definitely a romance at this point, he wasn’t aware of any horror movies like this. 

“The ex-husband is watching them through the camera he set up a while ago.”

“This is definitely horror, not romance.”

Karna nodded and tilted his head quizzingly.

“He’s recording.”

“Just what kind of creep is that guy!?”

After the movie and another few scenes that reminded the two of its rating and confused them on the genre, Siegfried found himself being stared down by an angry Arjuna after Karna went to take a phone call. To his knowledge, this sort of confrontation had him back up against a wall and not staring back at one. But dates also didn’t usually have a younger brother third-wheeling either, so he supposed this wasn’t the strangest thing today.

“What are your intentions with Karna?”

“Finishing the date?”

“Don’t be smart with me, what are you planning? Is attention, money, what?”

Siegfried blinked. Was this normal of Karna’s partners to ask for? It made sense in some retrospects. If Arjuna was a Top Idol like Karna said, he likely knew of people who tried to date his brother for some sort of fame or money boost. At least, he thought that was why he was asking. Sieg had complained of being calling him money hungry and attention-seeking when he first started dating Jeanne, mainly because she had a large number of male fans who were disappointed in her choosing to date someone. 

“I don’t want anything like that.”

He felt something jab the center of his chest. Arjuna pushed against him with his finger. Siegfried leaned down awkwardly to give the allusion they were talking face to face. That just appeared to piss the idol off further. 

“The moment I catch you slip up, you’re going to wish you never met Karna.”

“...Okay.”

“Arjuna, stop threatening him, you aren’t Ash.”

Arjuna shot back from Siegfried as Karna approached with his phone still in his hand. His back hit the brick wall as he let out a hiss. He rubbed his back and glared at his brother. 

“Well someone has to do it since he’s out. God, give me a warning next time.”

“Mother called, she’s going to check in with you-” Arjuna’s pocket buzzed- “Right now.”

With that, Arjuna practically sprinted off to answer the call with wide eyes while Siegfried and Karna stood near the back of the theater. 

“What’s with his reaction?”

“He’s skipping schoolwork.”

“Ah, she’s an education mother?”

“Mh,” Karna nodded. 

Silence enveloped the two once again. This was starting to seem like a problem to Siegfried. They really were both people who just listened. He looked around. There really wasn’t anything to direct the conversation. The plants were just normal, old shrubbery. He could talk about the movie- but the thought of that ex-husband's character gave him the chills. 

“Siegfried.”

“Hm?”

“May I kiss you?”

Karna took a step forward at Siegfried’s wordless nod. He cupped his cheek with one hand and pushed himself up with his toes to plant a kiss on Siegfried’s lips. With the sound of feet hitting the pavement just out of sight, Siegfried returned the kiss before Arjuna frantically pushed them apart. 

“She’s heading over, where is Ash?”

“In the parking-”

He didn’t get the chance to finish as his brother told him to say goodbye because they needed to leave now. Karna waved to Siegfried mouthing something he couldn’t quite catch. Even worse, he had no ride back. It was time to take the bus again. 

“I’m back,” Siegfried called out as he took off his coat and hung it back up. 

“Short date?”

“Cut short, his brother.”

Brynhildr shook her head sadly. She knew that kind of situation. Often times before they were married, her sisters would interrupt her date with Sigurd. It was still early in the day for Siegfried though. She looked over to the clock on the oven. 12:35. 

“Maybe he’ll call for a second part?”

“Is that-”

Siegfried’s phone began to ring. He and Brynhildr started a stare before he pulled the phone out and answered it. It was just the sound of clothes being moved around before Karna’s voice was heard.

“Sorry, I pressed call early.”

“It’s fine, how’s your brother?”

“Grounded, she’s lecturing him.”

He could hear the muffled sound of a woman speaking loudly to someone. It wasn’t quite yelling, but it wasn’t calm either. He heard the soft squeak of a bed. 

“Are you still free?”

“I should be.”

“Do you want to come over? They should be done soon.”

Brynhildr shook his shoulder enthusiastically as Sigurd came into the living room. Siegfried fumbled over his words before just settling with a simple ‘sorry, yes’. Sigurd looked at the two quizetly as Siegfried nodded and said ‘yes’ again. 

“What’s happening?”

“I’m going on another date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It probably won't take another...few weeks to get the second part.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Are you Siegfried?”_
> 
> _Siegfried looked up from the CD rack to face a purple-haired woman with dark sunglasses and a sleek suit. Was this the person Karna sent? Somehow it felt she was analyzing him behind those glasses._
> 
> _“Yes?”_
> 
> _“Come, I was called to pick you up.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know what made this so difficult to finish, it's been half done since I posted the last chapter.

“Hello?”

“Uh, where is your apartment?”

Karna blinked as he stopped watering the flower by the window. He had forgotten about that part. Ashwatthama couldn’t pick him up since he had taken Arjuna and their mother to dinner. Which also meant he didn’t have a car to use either. Then again…

“Ah, I’ll send someone to pick you up. Where are you?”

“The student store, Chiron’s.”

Karna gave a confirmation hum and said he’ll see him soon. He hung up and considered if he should just borrow another car or call that person. Except, if he borrowed a car then he’d certainly be found out. And that person was easily noticeable. He should just call the driver directly. 

“Are you Siegfried?”

Siegfried looked up from the CD rack to face a purple-haired woman with dark sunglasses and a sleek suit. Was this the person Karna sent? Somehow it felt she was analyzing him behind those glasses.

“Yes?”

“Come, I was called to pick you up.”

He did not have much choice in following since she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the store. Outside of the store was a shiny deep purple car with tinted windows. Internally, this felt sketchy to Siegfried. He’d heard of people who had been forced into dark cars like this and were never seen again. Then again, he’d never seen a story with a luxury car like this one. And Karna wasn’t that time of man, at least he didn’t think so. The woman opened the passenger side door for him to get into and then entered the driver’s side. 

“Hold on.”

“Hu--”

The screeching of the tires on the asphalt was heard through the car’s doors as the woman sped down the road, ignoring the obvious speed limit sign on the side of the road. Siegfried looked at the window to see the trees and people appeared as not much more than blurs. He was just lucky he didn’t get car sick. And what luck that neither he or this driver was conversationalists. 

“What did he order? I’ll pick it up.”

She gestured her shoulder towards her phone that was plugged into the control panel. On the screen, there was a message that just read ‘4’. Siegfried assumed it was something he ordered often from somewhere since it was just a number.

“Four?”

“It’s ordered in, I just have to drop you off.”

With that, Siegfried felt his body press against the seat as she put her heel to the gas. 

“Welcome,” Karna said, opening the door. 

“It’s the usual rate.” The woman said.

Karna nodded, closing the door as she turned and walked off. Siegfried rolled his neck, hearing a small pop. He should really invest in a car. 

“Sorry, short notice contact since Ash was out.”

“It’s fine, I should have asked for the address beforehand.”

He gestured towards the table just beyond the kitchen. On the table were two plate sets with hot food and glasses of possibly the clearest water Siegfried had ever seen. He hung his coat on the rack and sat down across from Karna at the table. Siegfried wondered how on earth this could have been ordered in. He had never seen any restaurant that would serve this allow takeout. 

“Where did you get this?”

“Ordered in a cook.”

It took a moment for Siegfried to process that. “You ordered in a cook?”

“Yes, that’s how most of the food here is cooked.”

Siegfried was still figuring out what kind of life Karna was living. What life was ordering in a cook normal enough that doing such a thing didn’t seem like a big decision. Not only that, but hadn’t Karna cooked when he was over the first time? 

“They don’t work Sundays,” was the response he got. 

He took a bite of the pan-seared duck with soubise sauce. He made an amendment to his question. What kind of life did Karna live to order in chiefs that made food that would be found in a 3 star Michelin restaurant? When he heard a chuckle from across the table he looked up with another fork-full of duck in his mouth. Karna had that ghost of a smile on his face again.

“I see it’s appropriate enough for your tastes?”

“It’s delicious.”

Karna’s plate was still mostly full by the time Siegfried had finished half of his. Before he could ask why; Karna asked him about his younger brother. He paused in his eating to think. Had something popped up about him?

“Why do you ask?”

“I saw a post with someone who looked like him. Does he know Jeanne d’Arc?”

“Oh, that’s his girlfriend.”

Karna had taken another few bites of his food before he continued.

“Ah, so that’s who she’s with. He’s not very popular with her fans is he?”

Siegfried shook his head. He stayed out of idol drama normally, but when it came to Sieg he kept a different kind of distance. When they had started dating Sieg had received more hate mail than Hagen ever did on Valentines' in school. He had deleted most of his social media on Jeanne’s request until the whole thing settled down. 

“What was the post about?”

“Standard gossip, it had something on my brother so I was curious about what he had stirred up this time.”

“What was it?”

Karna pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped the screen a few times. He turned to screen for Siegfried to see. It was a very blurry picture of earlier that day. It looked like it was from when Arjuna was interrogating him. He looked down at the caption. 

_**JK Fox SOOOOO**_ _@junao_ out with this mystery man?? and i swear i saw _@launcher_ too????? sorry for crappy quality its really him! wish i got more pictures but the security guard caught sight of me ;3  
_#junafollowing #secretdatingmaybe_ …more  
Liked by **neethime** and 194,581 others  
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“Wait, do they think I’m dating him?”

“The rumor is it’s a possibility. Doubt it will be there long though.”

“Why’s that,” Siegfried asked, taking a bite of the smoked figs.

“He has a lot of dating rumors, another one is bound to take its place in a week or so.”

“That sounds tiring.”

Karna nodded and took another few bites of his duck. 

“It’s the life of an idol, I don’t quite understand why he wanted to be one.”

“It doesn’t seem all that fun.”

“I suppose he finds it easier than others.”

Karna finished his meal not long after Siegfried’s plate had begun to go cold. He still couldn’t believe he had a personal chef. The post-dinner conversation had changed course as Karna leaned back in his chair. 

“Do you have a dream job?”

“Hm,” Siegfried paused to think, “I don’t think so. I like my current one well enough. Never had a desire to change it.” 

“Is that so?”

“What about you?”

The man across from him seemed to freeze for a moment before speaking, “In a way.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’d like to do something else. It’s far too late for that now though.”

“Ah, do you really think so?”

“...It’s just how things are, He shook his head, “Have you ever played Melty Colosseum?”

Siegfried shook his head. Was that a video game? He never played very many of them, actually, he wasn’t even sure they owned a game console. 

“It’s a fighting game, do you want to try?”

“Sure.”

In the living area, Karna opened a set of doors on the entertainment center and pulled out a pull-out shelf that held a menagerie of consoles. Siegfried wasn’t even sure he knew what half of them were. Was Karna really invested in games?

“My friend gives her extra ones to me when she doesn’t need them anymore.”

“All of that is extra?” 

“She’s particular about this sort of thing.”

He was handed a controller and sat down with Karna on the floor as the title screen loaded up. Melty Colosseum: The Second Bow was golden letters on a black background as the gameplay choices popped up. Karna selected the ‘Versus’ mode as the character select screen loaded. Siegfried wasn’t entirely sure what to do. Karna had picked his starting and back-up character in mere seconds while he was still deciding who to pick.

It really didn’t help that he had no idea what the controls were, as he scrolled down the list he accidentally selected a character. He hadn’t noticed until he accidentally chose a second one and the screen asked if they wanted to start the match. Siegfried didn’t want to ask Karna if he could re-choose, he would figure it out as they played. This was his first mistake.

His second mistake was not asking Karna what the fighting controls were. He was able to figure out the basic attack and walking controls easily enough, but he had no idea how Karna’s characters were jumping, blocking, or doing other attacks. When he looked over at Karna’s controller, he noticed Karna was pressing buttons in a combination that caused the unique attack on the screen. He pressed the buttons on his controller and the screen changed to a different animated scene. Karna’s character was immobilized as their health bar was depleted in an instant. 

“So that’s what his special attack is, I’ve never seen it before.”

“Is he unpopular or something?”

“His move set is infamous for being hard to handle. Very specific hit range, double-bladed passive, that sort of thing. At least that’s why my friend said he wasn’t used much.”

“Double bladed passive?”

“His passive poisons the entire field, so even the opponent's backline gets a small health reduction. It happens to his backline as well though.”

Siegfried nodded. He could see how that would be frustrating. As he soon learned, it was actually extremely frustrating. He wasn’t able to perform the special a second time, and most of the attacks had missed because it hadn’t played through the hitbox. Karna ended up winning 2-1 while Siegfried just accepted his one chance win as a sign of his luck about to drop off once again. 

They played another two rounds, with Siegfried being able to constantly hit the enemy with his character’s basic attack after a few hiccups. Other than that, he wasn’t able to get the timing right for the heavy attacks or specials. That could have been because Karna had laid his head on his shoulder halfway through the second round. Or it could have been the character’s hit range. Siegfried didn’t care too much, seeing Karna suddenly turn super serious when his character was at red health was a little funny. 

Karna put his controller down and burrowed his face into his shoulder. Siegfried was about to ask more about the game when he noticed Karna’s eyes were squeezed shut and his brows were furrowed. 

“Are you okay?”

“My head is throbbing.”

“Is it the screen?”

Karna nodded his head against the shoulder. 

“Can you help me up?”

Siegfried wrapped an arm around Karna’s back to support him as he stood them up. Karna shook his head and blinked a few times. He just stared at the wall beyond Siegfried for a few seconds before looking to the other man. 

“I’m sorry, I think I need to go to bed.”

“Oh, is it a headache?”

“Migraine.”

Karna had started to walk towards the kitchen area before nearly stumbling into the wall. Siegfried quickly made his way over to him and guided him towards the bedroom he recalled from last time he was over- even if the memory was undoubtedly even hazier than before. When they got into the room, Karna almost immediately got under the covers. Siegfried asked if he had any headache medicine, to which Karna shook his head. 

“Just some water will help.”

Siegfried nodded and walked to the kitchen. Looking through the cabinets, he found a glass and filled it with a water pitcher from the fridge. When he returned to the room, Karna had the covers pulled over his head. He placed the glass on the bedside table as Karna pulled down the covers. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, you should rest.”

He smiled down at Karna who nodded and pulled the covers above his head again. From underneath those covers, Siegfried heard Karna say he could use the number on the fridge to call the woman from before for a ride back. He nodded despite Karna not being able to see him.

“Good night, Siegfried.”

“Good night Karna,” He said as he closed the door behind him. 

Mentally, he prepared himself for a ride back with that woman if she picked up. How she was able to go twice the speed limit and not alert the cops was frightening enough on his way here. He could only imagine Sigurd’s reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone remind me to stop putting in the notes it won't take long for the next chapter because whenever I do it takes like a month before I update again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Have you been more tired? Are you going to the bathroom more? Have you been throwing up? Who have you been with recently?”_
> 
> _“Mother no-”_
> 
> _“Mother yes! Answer the questions, Karna!”_
> 
> _“I’ve just had a migraine and I threw up in the middle of the night, it likely rela-”_
> 
> _“Change your clothes, we're going to the doctor.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <s>What's this? Same day double chapter update?</s>
> 
> Hey, remember how this is an ABO au too? Yeah neither did I.

Karna shifted under his covers as someone shook him awake. He pulled the covers down slightly to see the edge of his mother’s sari. He could hear the soft jingle of her bracelets as she pulled off his covers, exposing him to the bright morning sun. Normally the sun wouldn’t bother him, but with the migraine still lingering he winced as the light hit his eyes.

“Mother, please, I have a migraine.”

Kunti scoffed, “A headache is no reason you shouldn’t be up. Breakfast is ready and it’s getting cold. 

She was already going through his closet as he sat up to drink the water on his bedside. He finished the glass as she tossed a set of clothes towards him. Already, she was going over the plan for the day. He and Arjuna had a TV interview at 9:30, lunch at 12:30, then they had a photoshoot for the next week’s iDol Mag issue, and dinner at 5:45. She took the glass from his hand as she continued on with what the menu for that day was before Karna interrupted her.

“I’ve had two pseudo heats in the past week.”

His mother’s words stopped short as the glass in her hand dropped the floor. Thankfully, it didn’t shatter when it hit the soft carpet. Unfortunately, Karna was certain his headache would only get worse when she started yelling.

“YOU’VE WHAT?”

Kunti rushed over from the dresser to clamp her hands down on his shoulders. She looked him over frantically as she started to bombard him with questions.

“Have you been more tired? Are you going to the bathroom more? Have you been throwing up? Who have you been with recently?”

“Mother no-”

“Mother yes! Answer the questions, Karna!”

“I’ve just had a migraine and I threw up in the middle of the night, it likely rela-”

“Change your clothes, we're going to the doctor.”

She had gotten it into her head again something serious was happening. He was certain the migraine was from the medication and not whatever she had decided had happened. Picking up his clothes, Karna sighed but went to go change. There was really no way to change her mind after she decided something, especially about this. 

Dr. Afon Ivanov was still taking a sip of his coffee when he heard the very familiar voice of Ms. Kunti Panduli echo through the waiting area into the staff lounge. He took a long sip as he waited for the intern out front to frantically call for him. It was 5 am and already he wanted to go on break. He could only imagine what she had decided was happening this time. 

“Uuh, Dr. Ivanov? Can you please come to the front desk,” The shaky voice of the intern came from the loudspeaker in the room as he put down his coffee and walked towards the front. 

When he arrived, his actual patient, Karna, was sitting in one of the waiting chairs as if he was about to take a test in school while Kunti was tapping a hole into the counter as the intern was nearly shaking behind the glass screen. Based on Karna’s appearance, Dr. Ivanov assumed this was another imagined problem because of that condition of his. If he was a betting man, he would guess this was because of an upcoming interview where some Alpha was there.

“Hello Ms. Panduli, hello Mr. Kunteya, what brings you here today?”

“We need a pregnancy test.”

“The grocery store is across the street.”

“I want a blood test.”

Ivanov held back a sigh, “Please come to the back Mr. Kunteya. Ms. Panduli if you would please just wait out here.”

After the intern hurriedly handed him the patient’s papers, Karna followed him to the hospital suite while Kunti stared after them from her spot at the reception’s desk. He closed the door as Karna sat on the examination bed and ran a hand through his hair. The doctor took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“What actually happened?”

“I’ve had a migraine since yesterday, and I’ve had two pseudo-heats in the past week.”

His doctor nodded and was silent for a few seconds.

“The migraine is likely a side effect of the medicine, is there anything else that could have triggered it?”

“I played a few rounds of a fighting game.”

“I see, that may have also contributed. I believe your sleep schedule and diet are still in order-” he paused to let Karna cut in but the patient stayed quiet, “If anything I believe you should cut back on any caffeine, alcohol, or screen time for the time being. If it’s still persisting it may be solely the medicine or something else.”

Karna nodded, already expecting that sort of answer. 

“What about these pseudo-heats?”

“I was invited out drinking the other night, it started and I went home. The second one was last night, I threw up.”

His doctor jotted what he said down on the notepad. That was highly unusual but something he probably should have seen coming. Karna had made mention that his pseudo-heats were happening despite him taking the medicine, but it had only occurred maybe twice a year since it started. Two separate heats in a single week were extreme even for an Omega, much less an actual Alpha. 

“Have they been long?”

“Only a few hours at most.”

“We may need to change your medicine in the near future if this continues. If you could keep a calendar on these I’m sure that will help them fix the formula to fit your needs.”

His patient nodded. A moment of silence passed over them. Dr. Ivanov looked at his watch. 

“Ms. Panduli, please stop waiting outside the door. Your son doesn’t have to let you in if he doesn’t want to.”

Karna shook his head, “She can come in.”

Kunti squeezed herself past him when he started to open the door, taking a seat next to the examination table. Ivanov made a mental reminder to give the intern a pay bonus for the day. He was almost certain she had been terrorized by the woman. 

“Ma’am, your son isn’t pregnant.”

“How can you be sure.”

Dr. Ivanov gestured to Karna’s abdomen, “He quite literally doesn’t have a womb.”

“HE DOES!”

“Ma’am he has a nonfunctioning, partial womb that at most can only cause the pseudo-heats. It can't even produce a proper heat, much less a baby.”

“But it could happen!”

“Ms. Panduli you have a greater chance of giving birth after you enter menopause than your son has of being able to support a baby inside that not-womb. Not only that but wouldn’t he have to sleep with someone to have a child?”

“Well yes obvious...ly…” She trailed off as her eyes grew big.

“KARNA HAVE YOU-!”

“No.”

Dr. Ivanov clapped his hands together, “Great, glad we got that out of the way. Come back in a month and we’ll go over the pseudo-heats consistency if you have more than 6 before then call in and we’ll figure out what’s going on. Please pay out front.”

Karna was already out of the door with Kunti marching behind him, and the doctor let out a heavy sigh. Honestly, a condition that gave an Alpha a pseudo-omega heat. Every visit just made him go slightly more insane, but he couldn’t fault the woman’s overreactions. Besides his own patient, there had only been 19 recorded cases of such a thing happening and only 2 were recent. What parent wouldn’t overreact at every living thing with something like this? He really wished she could stop terrifying the receptionists so much though. 

“So what’s the report?”

“You can rest assured mother won’t accuse you or Ash of anything.”

Arjuna choked on his drink in the waiting room for the interview. Karna patted his back as he coughed into his hand. Of all the times for Karna to bring that up, now was really the worst.

“Why, why am I included in that group! You didn’t tell her about the nightmares, did you?” Arjuna hissed out the last sentence. 

“What nightmares? I was making a joke.”

His brother blinked. He let out a shaky laugh as he turned away. Of course. A joke. Those dreams- no, nightmares, never happened. Denial is a completely valid way of dealing with repressed issues. Especially when that thing never happened.

Karna raised an eyebrow at his brother’s increasing laughter. The joke wasn’t that funny. He wondered if his brother was having an episode. Though usually he was far more composed in public if it happened. Maybe he was just trying to make him feel better.

“Arjuna, your drink’s spilling.”

“Wah!”

A staff member knocked on the door before entering, “You’re both on in five minutes.”

“Ah, we’ll be right out.”

He handed Arjuna another napkin as his brother soaked up the water from the tablecloth. The staff member stared at them for a second before closing the door. He wasn’t paid to question why a top idol was soaking up water.

“Welcome back to the show everyone, our first guests for today are two legendary idols, their most recent joint albums are coming out next week, and their head bodyguard has probably thought of how to kill me three times already, it’s the Top Idols Karna and Arjuna Kunteya!” 

The roar of applause echoed in the studio as the two entered, both waving at the crowd as they made their way to their seats. The host, Souji Okita, greeted them happily as she sat down in her own chair. The cheering died down after a moment.

“Matching outfits I see, was that on purpose or just an accident?”

“These are for the performance,” Karna deadpanned. 

Arjuna slapped himself in the eye with the fluffy boa scarf when he brought his hand up to his facepalm. Which in turn caused Karna to turn to him in concern. Even Okita looked a little surprised at the hit.

“You’re awfully clumsy today.”

“Thank you for noticing, would you like to explain the color of the sky as well while you’re at it?”

“Do we have time for that?”

“I don’t think we have a budget for that.”

“I see, Arjuna I’m sorry I can’t do that right now. Do you want me to do it on the ride to lunch?”

His brother had bundled his boa into his hands and brought it up to his face where his muffled scream was barely heard from the mic attached to his collar. He dropped his hands and wrapped the boa around his neck before turning to Okita with his hands folded over his knees. He smiled his trademarked ‘Juna’ smile which caused a number of audience members to clap and cheer. 

“I can’t think of any reason why not.”

“Well in the meantime, a large number of fa--” Okita coughed up a mouthful of blood into the tissue on her desk “--ans have sent letters and emails for you to answer on air,” She continued without skipping a beat. 

“What kind of questions?”

“Well let's take a look at this question from...hey isn’t Nakula the name of one of your brothers?”

“It’s not an uncommon nam-”

“He asks why you both refuse to accept his costume designs.”

Arjuna nodded, “Yeah that’s our Nakula. And the answer is-”

“It’s because everything you design costs as much as renting the venues as it does to make them.”

“How much does it cost to rent the venues?”

“The upcoming one was 120,000.”

“For all four nights?”

“Each night.”

“...What is he making these costumes out of?”

Both the brothers shrugged. Okita coughed up another mouthful of blood before moving onto the next question. Arjuna looked from her to the cameras, trying to figure out why no one seemed overly concerned with the amount of blood coming from her. 

“This was from Tw〇tter, ‘_@launcher_, what’s your favorite thing about your brother’?”

Karna brought a hand up to his chin as he thought. The audience was silent as the camera zoomed in on Karna’s flat face. He snapped his fingers loudly, surprising a few audience members.

“His heart.”

“...You can’t just say something like that with a straight face.”

“Hey, Sigurd,” Sieg called out as he entered the living room.

“Yeah?”

“Do you guys want tickets to Jeanne’s concert? She’s able to set aside some for us.”

“Oh is it her anniversary concert already?”

“Ah, I already have a ticket.”

Three sets of eyes were now on Siegfried who was reading a book with Fafnir II curled around his neck. 

“Wait, really? How?”

“Karna’s brother is sharing the venue, he gave me a backstage pass for the event.”

Sigurd tried not to be too obvious with his suspicious eye narrow. That was unusual. Were they properly dating yet? Even if they were, that was a little sudden. Even Jeanne waited for a bit before giving out tickets to her events. What was this guy planning?

“What are you staring so intensely at?”

“Fafnir is trying to eat Sigurd’s hair again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Ivanov is just an old oc of mine I used for the doctor. 
> 
> Also Siegfried is still absolutely clueless about Karna's life as an idol.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Sigurd’s newest theory is Siegfried’s new boyfriend is a mob boss.”_
> 
> _“Wait, boyfriend? Are they dating?”_
> 
> _Sieg and Brynhildr shrugged._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally not prolonging the reveal just so they could have another date no sirey

At the loud knock that emanated from the front door, Brynhildr, Sigurd, and Sieg looked up from their board game in the living room. They all exchanged a look as the knocking grew louder. Silently agreeing, they raised their fist and brought them down three times before throwing down the hand signs. Two papers and one rock. Sieg stared at the other two, begging with his eyes for one of them to take the fall. To his disappointment, neither of them moved to get up. 

He let out a sigh and got up from his seat on the floor. By the time he reached the door, the knocks had grown to full bangs. He waited for a second of no banging before opening the door. 

“Hey, Hagen.”

“Faker.”

“That’s still not my...and you’re just going to come in, of course.”

Hagen strolled past him as if he wasn’t trying to block the entrance with his body. Sieg shot a hopeful look to Sigurd who only adjusted his glasses as he stared down at the board. Hagen sat down in one of the big living room chairs with the most unpleasant look on his face. The other three occupants of the house tried to focus on their game once again, but the constant glare from the uninvited guest finally broke Sigurd’s composure. 

“_What_ is it?”

“I’m bored.”

“Then why are you here? You _hate_ us.”

“My roommates are out and Siegfried blew me off for a date so I have no other options.”

“What about Gunther?”

“What _about_ him?”

Brynhildr gave an agreeing nod and threw the dice down to move her piece. A few turns went by before something hit Sigurd. He slammed down the cup in his hand and snapped his head towards Hagen who was now slouched in the chair. 

“A date?”

“Uh, yeah? Why? Is it a family game afternoon or something?”

“When did he go off on it?”

“Like twenty minutes ago-” Sigurd jumped from his spot and nearly sprinted towards the door “- so what’s up with that?”

“Sigurd’s newest theory is Siegfried’s new boyfriend is a mob boss.”

“Wait, boyfriend? Are they dating?”

Sieg and Brynhildr shrugged. They still weren’t sure about the exact status of the relationship either. They thought it was dating but Siegfried hadn’t said anything about it. A few minutes later Sigurd returned to the table and sat down. 

“Do you know where they went?”

“No.”

“Oh, a mob boss got arrested.”

“For what?”

“Tax evasion.”

Siegfried nodded as he took a bite out of the crape. That was how most of them got caught, wasn’t it? Karna let the phone slide back into his jacket pocket as they walked past another market stand. His sunglasses were readjusted as he looked around. He was a bit happy no one was really giving him a second look, or at the very least weren't demanding he take off his hood. Ending up on any ‘tea’ page because someone had pulled down his hood and someone with quick fingers took a picture. His mother would certainly blow a gasket at this current point and time. It had taken Arjuna bribing the twins with keeping her distracted, and technically bringing Arjuna along to his ‘date’. 

Karna was pretty sure Arjuna was hiding somewhere nearby. Karna understood why he wasn’t such a big fan of Siegfried; first and foremost because he had been kicked out for the entire night with only a brief comment from Ashwatthama when they had left. And Ashwatthama’s dislike of him was natural too, he thought at least. It was his job to be suspicious of people. 

“Ah, can I have a taste?”

At the request, Siegfried offered up his crape. To his surprise, Karna instead leaned in to give him a peck on his lips. After he pulled away he brought up his hand to his chin and smiled softly.

“Sweeter than what I’m used to.”

Arjuna took the binoculars away from his eyes and slapped his hand against his face. His brother really had no idea what he was doing, did he? What kind of line was that? ‘Sweeter than what I’m used to’, who even says that? What was next? Asking to eat him out? 

Arjuna banged his head against the wall repeatedly. He really, truly, did not need that mental image in his head. He blamed Karna. That man didn’t think before he spoke in any situation. There was no way this could get worse.

He took up the binoculars and looked over to where they were. Siegfried was looking at a fruit booth while Karna was nowhere to be seen. That was weird. Did he go to the bathroom or something? Arjuna looked around for some sort of sign when a familiar sari caught his eye. 

There was no way. There was no way the twins decided to come here. There was absolutely no way for them to have decided to come to an open-air market. Except, Nakula had mentioned wanting to get more of a certain fabric from a local vendor, and Sahadeva had needed a new mortar and pestle. Who was he kidding, they had many ways of deciding to come here. Why would Karna ever suggest it as a date spot? 

...It was probably the crepes. 

Siegfried stared at the large fruit. At least he thought it was a fruit. It was giant, at least twice as big as his head. The outside of it was very bumpy, like little smooth knots. He wasn’t aware of many fruits that were very large and bumpy. Was it some sort of mutated honeydew melon? A mango? He turned it over in his hands before asking the vendor what it was.

“Why it’s a jackfruit.”

“A jackfruit?”

“It’s native to Southeast Asia, would you like a taste?”

He accepted the piece of fruit and popped it into his mouth. The gummy texture wasn’t what he expected, but the more shocking part was the almost pulled pork flavor he was tasting. This...was a fruit, right? His utter confusion must have shown on his face as the vendor laughed slightly.

“It’s got a unique taste, no ones really ever prepared for it the first time.”

“It...is a fruit right?”

“Undeniably so.”

What kind of fruit tastes like meat? Siegfried considered the contradiction of the very nature of it as he ate another piece. Maybe he should get some and bring to Hagen to see if he could use it for ice cream. He had been complaining about the lack of options for new flavors recently. 

“Both of you! Slow down!”

Siegfried turned to find the source of the loud shouting only to be run into by two small bodies head first. Had he been someone else, he’d likely be knocked off balance by the impact. Instead, the two boys had been knocked off balance and fell back to the ground. A woman, who he assumed was their mother, ran up after them with an angry look on her face.

“What have I told you? Running in the market is a recipe for getting hurt.”

“There usually isn’t a wall in the middle of the path…”

“Sorry.”

Both the boys looked up to see Siegfried looking down apologetically. They exchanged a look before looking back at him. It was as if they had really assumed they had run into a wall instead of a person. 

“I’m very sorry about my sons, they get very excited when shopping.”

“Oh no, it’s perfectly fine. I think they’re more hurt than I am, unfortunately.”

“It was like running into uncle…”

“_Nakula_,” The woman stressed and she pulled them up from the ground. She brushed off the dust from their hair and turned them towards Siegfried. “Now apologize to the person who almost ran over.”

“Sorry for running into you.” It was a tad creepy when they said it in tandem, but Siegfried just assumed that was a twin thing. That happened a lot with them in the media in any case. 

The three of them walked off to another booth far behind him when Karna returned. His hood was pulled down a bit further and Siegfried couldn’t see if he still had his sunglasses until he stopped next to him. He held his hand above his eyes as he looked up at Siegfried.

“I lost them in the toilet.”

“Do you need to borrow mine?”

Karna nodded and accepted the sunglasses Siegfried offered from his shirt. Siegfried wasn’t really going to ask how it was possible to lose glasses in a toilet. He had once accidentally gotten a knife stuck in the plumbing for two months. He still wasn’t entirely sure how that happened.

“Would you like to try the jackfruit as well young man?”

“Mh, sure,” Karna took a bite out of the piece offered, “It’s quite sweet.”

“S-sweet?” Siegfried asked as Karna took another bite.

Arjuna let out a sigh. Thankfully their mother hadn’t encountered Karna nor had the twins. While he was silently cheering for that stroke of luck, a sudden feeling of dread crawled up his spine. Nakula and Sahadeva had met Siegfried. 

_Shit. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows when Siegfried will ever find out Karna's an idol
> 
> and yeah Jackfruit is a real thing and no I don't know why it tastes like pulled pork


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I’ll figure something out.”_
> 
> _“What, announce it during the concert and give mother a heart attack so she can’t say anything?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a headache but I've finished the chapter so I'm going to post it now. If the next chapter has a note about this one changing up its because I found something headache me didn't that was inexcusable.

Karna watched Arjuna pace in their dressing room from the mirror he sat in front of. The makeup artist carefully applied the red eyeshadow under his eyes as his brother appeared to hold much of his obvious panic in as to not ruin the work done. Once the artist was finished, and Arjuna had worn a hole into the carpet, Karna turned to him to ask what was wrong.

“Nakula and Sahadeva met Siegfried. Do you understand how bad that is?”

“They didn’t see me with him, and it’s not like they’ve seen him before.”

“You know how the cycle happens with them! And then once mother finds out-” Arjuna made the movement of his neck being cut off to emphasize the repercussions. 

He wasn’t wrong. Their mother might become a wreck if she found out he had been secretly sleeping around. Even when she knew about the person she almost lost it when she realized he was sleeping with Vrishali because of her overactive imagination of his condition. 

Karna folded his hands together. He wasn’t sure how to approach the topic with his mother of him dating again, back when he was still a teenager he wasn’t even allowed to even consider the possibility. Though that was in part because of the idol culture at the time, another popular idol had been attacked by a fan for daring to date someone and thus Kunti had forbidden him from even showing interest in anyone in fear of something similar happening. Perhaps that had been for the better since another smaller idol had acid thrown at their face during a fan meet up for expressing the interest to date someone not soon after. Ever since then, the regulations had been kept tight and even a top idol couldn’t date anyone without approval from their manager. 

Except, he technically did have permission. While their mother had taken over as manager early on due to an unfortunate incident involving another previous company, the company that he was under had technically given permission. It might have helped that Duryodhana was in charge and thus able to ‘bend’ a few rules for him. But even then, while he officially had permission, it was a completely other matter if his mother would allow it. That was the complications of having a parent as a boss he supposed. 

“I’ll figure something out.”

“What, announce it during the concert and give mother a heart attack so she can’t say anything?”

Arjuna really did not like the silence that came from his brother. He really had to stop sarcastically suggesting things to him, he was taking it all literally. Not only that but regardless, neither of them would have enough time to write a will before all of it was over. 

“Sieg!”

“Jeanne!”

The idol ran up to the group as the bodyguards let them into the VIP waiting room. She wrapped her arms around Sieg and gave him a quick kiss before waving hello to the rest of the family. She guided them towards the sitting area where a number of drinks were laid out.

“This is quite the waiting room…”

“You can thank the joint concert, we’ve got two other big artists besides myself here for the main act and plenty of up and coming idols too, so the budget for it all was rather grand. I was rather surprised Arjuna had used all his own money for his payment, but I suppose that’s what a Net Idol is like.”

“Arjuna, that’s Junao right?” Sieg asked as he took a sip from his glass. 

Jeanne nodded. Sigurd raised his eyebrow. Why did that name sound familiar? Maybe he had overheard it from Sieg. Sieg suddenly snapped his fingers. 

“Oh wait, I think I saw him at a school store the other day. He was waiting for someone I think. Siegfried was also talking to someone, I think that was his new boyfriend?”

“Siegfried got a new boyfriend?”

Brynhildr and Sieg shrugged, “We think so.”

“Where is he by the way?” Jeanne asked as she leaned back on the couch.

“Here now.”

The group turned to the entrance of the VIP room where Siegfried entered with another bodyguard. Jeanne took a moment to react. What was Junao’s bodyguard doing here?

“What took you so long?”

“Someone asked for help and I got lost. Thankfully Ash was around.”

“It’s Ashwatthama to you.”

“Oh sorry, he just referred to you like that.”

Ashwatthama huffed. Of course he did. It wasn’t like his name wasn’t a mouthful, but it still didn’t sit right with him to be called by the shorthand by someone he didn’t really know. Even if it was Karna’s...something. Honestly, he didn’t know what they were. He’d heard Arjuna call him a boy toy in one conversation but who knows. 

The bodyguard waved goodbye and Siegfried sat down next to Sieg on the couch. Sigurd narrowed his eyes slightly. Alright, that was definitely the guy who showed up with Karna that one day. What was he doing here? Was he his brother’s bodyguard or something? Or was he acting as one as a cover? He was still holding onto that theory Karna could be a mob boss. 

An hour later, a clock on the wall chimed and they were ushered out by security to their spots up near the stage. The perks of an expensive ticket. The security offered up some earplugs to them since they were so close up to the speakers it would at least make it more bearable. Sieg was a little surprised, usually, concerts didn’t do that. 

He looked around to find Siegfried was being talked to by a group of girls. He walked up to them and heard them asking if they would go in front of him to see better. That, in contrast, wasn’t surprising. Siegfried did have some height on him that would make it hard to watch from behind. He hoped the people behind the gate weren’t too miffed about it. 

There was a large bit of chattering just around the corner of the stage. Sieg looked up to see if maybe Jeanne had come over but noticed she was on the other side waving towards some of the fans there. It looked like they were focused on an idol with a white suit. His eyes soon fell on another idol with a black suit, and he figured they were the other artists Jeanne had mentioned since her outfit looked like a female version of theirs. From what he remembered of Junao, he had to be the one in the black suit. But who was the fellow in the white suit?

Sieg furrowed his brows. He was pretty sure he knew who it was. Jeanne had done a concert before with him. For some reason though, he couldn’t remember the name. All he could think of was the math he had needed to study for one of his exams. The name was on the tip of his tongue. 

“Siegfried!”

“Karna?”

The idol smiled from up on the stage. Sieg looked between the two and Sigurd who was staring agape at them. It looked like Sigurd’s mob boss theory had just died in its tracks. He turned back to Siegfried who had gotten closer to the stage to speak better to Karna.

“I’m glad you could make it. Once this is over just find Ash.”

“Ah, alright.”

Karna walked off to the other sides of the stage, leaving an entire section in shocked surprise. Except for Siegfried, who still looked unaffected by the whole exchange. Had he known about this the whole time? 

Sigurd was about to question Siegfried when his brother suddenly went wide-eyed. He turned to them as if to get their confirmation the interaction had just happened. At their shaky nods, he appeared to grow a touch paler. 

“Oh my god, I’m dating an idol.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Siegfried have any idea what's going on? Absolute not because he refuses to read the room.
> 
> That's not a joke, his official profile lists his dislikes as 'reading the room'.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Siegfried knew he was bad at reading the room, he very much preferred not to try to do such a thing because of that very reason. What he didn’t know was that he was somehow so bad at it he didn’t pick up on the fact Karna was an idol. A Top Idol at that. As he thought about it in the middle of a group of gawking fans during a concert, he realized that maybe the apartment should have been his first tip-off. How many other professions allowed you to get one bigger than a house? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno how to go about for the smut chapter so I split this one up into two parts so I had more time to think on it. 
> 
> Also, it was getting weird pacing wise so slowed down for that reason. 
> 
> Not sure how I feel about the chapter as a whole, but consider it filler of sorts.

Siegfried knew he was bad at reading the room, he very much preferred not to try to do such a thing because of that very reason. What he didn’t know was that he was somehow so bad at it he didn’t pick up on the fact Karna was an idol. A Top Idol at that. As he thought about it in the middle of a group of gawking fans during a concert, he realized that maybe the apartment should have been his first tip-off. How many other professions allowed you to get one bigger than a house? 

And then there had been the dinner date. Who orders in a cook? Not to mention that driver he called in, that wasn’t like a rider service it was like a chauffeur. As he thought over the dinner once again as the music blared from the speakers, a question popped up. 

Was Karna trying to quit being an idol? 

He had questioned Siegfried over if he enjoyed his job and when it was reflected back at him seemed hesitant to say he didn’t enjoy it. Sure, it wasn’t concrete, but the way his eyes had shifted to the side made Siegfried think otherwise. 

That brought up the question of ‘why?’. When he found Karna on the stage monitor, he still had the same smile from earlier on his face. Was he smiling because he enjoyed it, for the sake of the fans watching, or- as a slightly selfish part of him hoped, was it because of him? 

“Um, excuse me! Mr!”

Siegfried looked down at one of the girls who had been part of the group that had asked him to move. He felt the embarrassment build up inside him, he had just been standing there in shock for at least 10 minutes. Even after he had agreed to let them go in front of them. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll move back.”

“Uh, wait! We wanted to know how long you and Karna have been dating!” Another girl piped up. 

“Oh, hm, only a few weeks at most.”

A few of the girls looked ready to bombard him with questions before Sieg moved between them. He calmly asked them to save the questions for after the concert for the sake of the others around them. The leader of the group blushed and nodded, squeaking out an apology. Siegfried apologized again for being in the way and let them get closer to the stage. 

Right, he had to find Ashwatthama after this was over. He took a deep breath. So much for trying to avoid more drama again. 

An announcement rang out after the final song of the night was sung, with all the artists giving out a good night as the concert-goers were ushered out by security. The girls never got a chance to ask Siegfried more questions because Ashwatthama had spirited him away almost immediately after the announcement. How he already knew exactly where he was a bit scary, but Siegfried had chalked it up to Karna telling him when he was off stage.

Sieg and the others were guided back by the bodyguards for Jeanne’s section, who all inevitably arrived at the VIP room for Karna. Inside the room, Siegfried, Jeanne, and Ashwatthama were watching Arjuna wear a hole in the floor while Karna was getting cleaned up from the performance in his waiting room. Arjuna was already out of the fancy suit and dressed about as casually as he ever did. 

“We’re going to die.”

“Uh, what makes you say that?” 

“Karna’s finally snapped and he’s going to get us killed.”

Save for Ashwatthama and Siegfried, everyone else exchanged a somewhat worried look among themselves. He wasn’t talking about all of them, right? The idol wasn’t about to murder them all when he returned, especially not this many people. Sure he was kinda scary looking on his own, but it wasn’t like he was a cold-blooded killer. Not only that but what would the point of killing them all be?

“All...because I told him to get _laid_.”

“_What_.”

At this point, Sigurd was willing to say this was entering stages of ridiculousness that bordered on insanity. What kind of reasoning was that? Why would telling someone _that_ cause them to snap? Was this some sort of big prank? 

“Yer ma’s not gonna killed you cause Karna slept with this guy.” Ashwatthama deadpanned. 

“You don’t know that Ashwatthama! This could be the thing that makes her snap! She already panicked when Karna had a migraine, how do you think she’ll react to him secretly sleeping with someone!?”

“Does it look like I know what that’s like idol boy?”

Arjuna threw his hands up in the air as he fell back into the chair. He was completely sure something in Karna had snapped. A month ago he could have said there was no impending feeling of doom because of something his brother had done. But now, he was stuck dealing with Karna deciding that now of all times was his rebellion phase. He blamed their cousin, he was usually the reason for Karna to suddenly decide to do something this stupid. 

“Know what?”

Sieg nearly jumped at the sudden sound of the Top Idol’s voice. Karna sat down next to Siegfried on the couch with his usual flat face. Sigurd wasn’t even sure if he could read the guy off his face alone. He was more neutral faced than Siegfried. Granted it was nice to know what his face looked like. It had been covered up the previous few times they had met. 

“That our mother is going to lose it when she finds out you’re dating _him_,” Arjuna said. 

“Ah that. Give me a second.”

“Wait what do-”

“I’ve sent her a text, so dinner now?”

All the blood had drained from Arjuna’s face as he sunk further into his chair. Karna was going to be found dead by the next morning, he was sure of it. If not by their mother then by some disgruntled fan. They didn’t need another incident like last time. 

“I’m going to die.”

“You’re the favorite, you’ll live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter (part 2 of this really) will be up soon! And if it's not up within a week you have full rights to call me out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“This is a bar.”_
> 
> _“It’s a pub, they serve meals.”_
> 
> _“Alright, so it’s a pub with servers who wear tight leather pants.”_
> 
> _“I don’t remember that being in the recommendation.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a 2k chapter instead of the usual 1k.

“This is a bar.”

“It’s a pub, they serve meals.”

“Alright, so it’s a pub with servers who wear tight leather pants.”

“I don’t remember that being in the recommendation.”

“What did you expect from, uh, which cousin is it again?”

“Oh, no, this was recommended by Draupadi.”

Arjuna blinked. When was Karna on speaking terms with her? And why was she recommending a place like this? More importantly, why would she even be speaking to him? They _hated_ each other.

“Don’t you hate her?”

“We’ve reached a mutual understanding.”

“Meaning…?”

“She said it was low enough for someone like myself, so I’m quite happy our relationship has improved to the point she can give me a personalized recommendation. So I gave her one in return.”

“...What did you recommend?”

“I suggested she could go to a local sushi place where she could find something just as good as her personality.”

The local sushi place had been under investigation for murder for the past two weeks. Karna was very aware of this and had gotten the pub recommendation a week ago. No, they certainly still hated each other.

Arjuna sighed and looked at the menu. He was correct in that the place actually served food. He wasn’t sure how much he trusted it, however.

“So...are we going to talk about what happened in the VIP room or…?” Jeanne started.

“Our mom is,” Arjuna paused if he was searching for a befitting word, “She’s very invested in Karna’s welfare.”

“She’s a momager, his manager an’ his ma,” Ashwatthama added in.

“That has to be stressful. It's hard enough to deal with managers normally, much less one you grew up with.”

Karna shrugged, “It’s been like that since I was fifteen.”

“Oh, when did you start being an idol? You were already one when I started a few years ago, and you were already a top idol then, had you been one long?”

“Since I was...hm, officially since I was eight or so.”

The water from Jeanne’s glass hit the table as it froze inches away from her mouth. She had heard him correctly, right? Eight was ridiculously young for an idol. And what had he meant by ‘officially’?

“Are you joking? Don’t most start around fifteen?”

“He was part of some idol training program or some shit,” Ashwatthama said.

“But still, eight years old?”

It had been unusual. Even his mother had found it strange. They had changed companies when he was 10 and then she took over completely when he was 15. His contract with Duryodhana’s company had been rather recent, it had been around the time Arjuna started his rise as a Net Idol.

“Are you all ready to orrr...do you guys need a towel?”

“Yes, please.”

The server turned on his heels as Jeanne and Sieg tried to wipe up the spilled water with the table napkins. Sigurd passed over his napkin before turning his attention to Karna. This would be a good opportunity to get some facts about this guy.

“You started when you were eight right? How many years is that now?”

“Mh, twenty give or take.”

“TWENTY!?”

The server returned to the table suddenly soaked in water as half the table had spilled their glasses as the other half was calmly still drinking. At least on the outside, that’s what it seemed to be with Siegfried. In reality, he was full-blown panicking on the inside. Thankfully, he knew how to keep his face mostly flat for almost any occasion.

“Twenty years! How is that possible? Most idols quit before their fifth year.”

“I suppose they do.”

“What kind of staying power do you have?”

“I’ve been compared to a cockroach before.”

“By who?”

Karna lifted his shoulder to indicate the man sitting to his left, the bodyguard Ashwatthama. The other half of the table remained silent in their shock. The man shrugged and pointed at Karna’s face.

“He’s got an irritatin’ face.”

“Thank you.”

“Somehow I don’t think that was a compliment…”

The server returned with more towels, new napkins, and new glasses of water as Siegfried broke his own stunned silence to apologize profusely. The server left to give them more time to consider what to eat, and from how the previous questions had ended up, the other half of the table refrained from asking any more for now.

“Hey, big brother, can we share a beer? We promise to only have one.”

Brynhildr choked on her drink at the sudden appearance of the two boys on either side of Karna. Siegfried looked down at them in utter confusion, as if they had somehow magically manifested there. Ashwatthama looked annoyed that their emergence had made him spill his drink slightly.

“What are you two doing here?” Arjuna learned over Siegfried towards the twins, “Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“We wanted to come and support our dearest older brothers,” Nakula flashed an innocent smile.

“Bullshit.”

“We came because we wanted to meet the boyfriend early.”

“Mother was having trouble with her phone earlier so we were looking at it when Karna sent the text,” Sahadeva supplied dully.

Arjuna’s head was already lightly hitting the table before he was done talking. This was even worse. Their mother was going to lose it when she found them missing and then lose it further when she found out they were in a bar, and then she would probably die from a heart attack when she found out Karna was dating someone. This could not get any worse.

“You two are going home this instant.”

“But Junaaaaa!”

“No.”

Nakula puffed out his cheeks and suddenly grabbed onto Karna’s left arm while Sahadeva mirrored the movement on the right side.

“Uuuuuuncle! Make Juna let us stay! We promise to be good!”

“U-uncle?” Siegfried asked softly.

“Please?”

Karna, flat-faced as always, looked through the menu with the twins hanging off his arms. Everyone except Arjuna and Ashwatthama was trying to figure out who the kids were and why they were calling Karna ‘uncle’. There was no way they were his nephews right? His brothers couldn’t have kids that old yet. Maybe if they were adopted but their faces were too similar to Karna’s for that.

“You get fruit juice.”

“But uncle!”

“You get grape juice just like at home.”

Nakula huffed and crossed his arms. While the older brothers got to drink wine and ciders they were only allowed grape juice and alcohol-free apple cider. Totally unfair. Sahadeva was also disappointed. He wanted to see the difference in how rubbing alcohol and drinking alcohol cleaned wounds.

“Uh,” Sieg started, “Are...are these your nephews?”

“No, they’re our younger brothers. Nakula and Sahadeva.”

“But they’re calling you uncle…?”

Sigurd narrowed his eyes sharply. Was this the dark secret he was sure Karna was hiding? Was his family incestuous? Or was it something worse?

“He’s twice our age and was already living out of the house when we were born, thus he is more an ‘uncle’.”

“He’s also got that old man attitude.”

Arjuna covered his face with his hands. Of all the inside jokes for them to use here, it just had to be the one that was the weirdest. He never picked up on why they had decided such a joke was so funny to them, but they certainly enjoyed milking it whenever they had family dinner or trips.

“So, just a joke?” Sigurd questioned.

“It’s like Yudhisthira’s checking account every time his gacha games have a new banner.”

The group stared at Karna. Was that a joke? Was it serious? Was this Yudhisthira another brother? There were so many questions.

“Oh did you hear? He spent nearly three thousand on the most recent one.”

“I thought it was four thousand,” Arjuna mumbled.

“Oh,” Sieg straightened up as if he had suddenly realized something, “He’s like a whale?”

“No, he has a serious gambling problem,” Karna was silent for a minute, “He’s like a beaver.”

Sieg sunk down into the booth seat. He had no idea how to talk to this family. His brothers were giggling- well Arjuna was covering his mouth so who knows, and Ashwatthama was downing his water quickly to curb the laughter that bubbled up. Was it just an inside joke? What was the connection to a beaver of all things? What the hell was this?

“Hey...isn’t that guy the wall we ran into the other day?”

Nakula leaned over Karna to get a better look at Siegfried. Yeah, this was definitely the wall they ran into. Sahadeva turned and stared at him for a few seconds before nodding. They had been correct. Karna had been on a secret date.

Arjuna silently hoped they were not about to ask anything weird. This night was already weird. And he was sure Karna would just make it worse because of course he would. Maybe Siegfried would be dense enough that they couldn’t pull anything. Oh, he hoped he was that dense.

“Have you f-”

“Do not finish that question.”

“What? I was just going to ask if he had...fanboyed.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Nakula smirked as he lifted the menu to cover his face.

Thankfully, the server returned to take their orders so as to put a stop to that conversation. Arjuna had glanced around after ordering, looking out for any more surprise guests showing up. After the server left he checked under the table. If their mother showed up out of nowhere he was going to have a heart attack and he would haunt Karna until he died himself. Which would probably be a week at most.

When Sigurd looked back towards Karna after giving his order and menu, his brother and the idol had laced their fingers together on the table. And Sahadeva, he thinks that’s the name, was using their hands as a stand for his phone. He had already decided to start looking into the idol’s background now that he had a face to the name, but now he was considering the rest of the family. The ‘uncle’ joke was already weird. Well, actually the twins seemed weird in general. Was the entire family like that?

Brynhildr had redirected the conversation as they waited for the food to one about the concert. Arjuna let out a sigh and mentioned he didn’t think he could ever get used to such big concerts, something Jeanne shared the same sentiment. In between their own performances they had to change their costumes at least three times during the few minutes of the smaller idol’s songs.

It appeared that Karna shared the same feelings. At least they thought he did. His face was still as flat as ever and he only nodded at their own statements. Maybe that was a side effect of two decades worth of idol work. Or maybe he was just normally that stoic.

A phone buzzed when the server returned with the food. Karna pulled his phone out of his pocket before replacing it back into his pocket. The twins had leaned in close to read over his shoulders, both of them sharing a look before returning to whatever they had been doing before.

Even Arjuna found that a little weird. In all likelihood, according to his panicked mind, that was their mother. Was he trying to get himself killed? If he was, could he at least give him a two weeks warning so he could find another place to live before their penthouse was foreclosed for an unsolved murder?

“Karna, what was that text about?”

“Hm? Oh, Yudhi was just letting me know mother wished for Siegfried to come over for dinner this Friday. “

“_What._”

“Is that unusual?” Brynhildr questioned as she took a bite of her smoked fish.

Karna nodded, “She usually waits a week before being so upfront with her murder attempts.”

The fork from Sigurd’s hand clanged loudly as it hit his plate. He knew it. There was a murderer in the family. But to think it was the mother of all people, he should start looking into this family immediately.

“Just kidding.”

“Karna, I think ya broke yer boy toy.”

“But Duryo’s not here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a special treat have this line my cat helped type
> 
> “Hey, uncle, can we q1q112A><
> 
> Oh yeah, that beaver joke is because beavers hoard things. 
> 
> ...I think it's funny.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Hey, Sigurd?”_
> 
> _“Yeah?”_
> 
> _“I think you may be onto something with that mob boss theory…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason this took so long was I kept trying to fit in smut and it just wasn't happening so dinner party coming sooner than later.

“Hey, Sigurd?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you may be onto something with that mob boss theory…”

Sieg, Sigurd, and Jeanne all let out a collective sigh. When Sigurd had shown up four hours ago with Sieg in tow to Jeanne’s home going on about researching the Top Idol Karna, none of them expected the difficulty that came with such a task. Sigurd almost felt like crying at this point. 

Because, for some godforsaken reason, there was nearly next to nothing on Karna Kunteya. His private life, information on him prior to his start as an Idol, his family history, nearly all of it was impossible to locate any reliable information on it. In fact, his life prior to becoming an idol didn’t even exist on the internet. ‘Everything on the internet was forever’ was paradoxically false with this guy. 

“What the hell...how is there nearly nothing on this guy’s family.”

“I’ve got some info on his dad I think,” Sieg pulled up the article on the computer. 

_ **Pandu Vyadava, aged 32, dies suddenly in his sleep. Foul play is suspected.** _

“A murder?”

“It’s a bit ambiguous. He’s said to have had a compromised immune system so he was often sick. But there was a big investigation into his death, his second wife was accused of the murder.”

“Second wife?”

“That’s how she’s referred to. Says here she...oh.”

Jeanne gulped nervously. Ever since a bad accident with pyrotechnics at a show a few years ago, she hadn’t been able to deal with fire very well. She’d only recently been able to sit near a closed fireplace without freaking out. And here she was reading about a woman who burned herself to death. 

“Sorry, I should have read further in.”

“What’s with this part here?” Jeanne pointed to a paragraph with Karna’s name.

_Karna Kunteya, the step-son to the late Vyadava, has not been chosen as a successor to his fortune. Instead it is to go to his second eldest, Yudhisthira Pandava. There is to be further discussion within the family to whom gets the full family inheritance with this development._

“Step-son? Whose his birth father? And what’s this inheritance discussion?”

“I can’t find anything on who his birth father might be. No one seems to know anything about him in general. Hell, everything about him before the age of eight seemed to be purged from the internet. This is the only mention of any inheritance too.”

“The only mention?”

“No other article about his death mentions an inheritance, and according to the person who sent me the screenshot, this article went down almost immediately.”

Sigurd pinched the bridge of his nose. Someone with big ties was definitely responsible for this sort of thing. But why would Karna’s information be so scarce? What warranted an absolute purge of the internet? How was that even possible? 

“Is there anything on this guy that hasn’t been censored?”

Sieg turned back to the computer and went through a few of his tabs. He shook his head, there really wasn’t anything he had found. The older man breathed through his nose deeply. What the hell had Siegfried gotten himself into? 

Siegfried let out a content sigh as he slipped into the hot water. The bath’s jets felt soothing against his back as he sunk further into the tub. If there was one perk of having an idol boyfriend, a jacuzzi bath was high up there. 

“Is it to your liking?”

“Ah,” he looked up to the approaching Karna, “Yes, it’s quite nice.”

Karna leaned over the side of the tub. Originally, he had a normal tub in his bathroom. Then Duryo had suggested getting a such a bath after a resort had offered up a rather nice one in his suite. And then he had a jacuzzi bath in his apartment. Well, it had been less of a suggestion and more of a ‘you have to get this’ sort of deal. But a good decision nonetheless. 

“Did your bathroom always have a camera?”

Siegfried looked from the corner of the room towards Karna. His peaceful face had twisted into one of confusion. He looked up to where Siegfried pointed. There was indeed a camera. 

Karna got up from the floor and looked at the camera. It was practically useless at the angle it was at. Unless someone got close to it, it wouldn’t pick up anything save for steam. Not only that, but something seemed off about it. He reached out to touch it to find it wiggled. 

This camera wasn’t attached. Someone had removed it. It looked like one of the cameras from outside too. But the only people who knew about the exact locations of those cameras- Karna pursed his lips. Something was wrong. 

“Siegfried, did you notice anything strange when you came in?”

“Hm, well Ashwatthama was-”

“OI-,” The bathroom door swung open as the bodyguard stormed in.

Upon spotting Karna in the corner, his face relaxed a small bit. Not that it was very noticeable. He walked over and picked up the loose camera as Siegfried looked on a bit confused. Had he left a camera in here or something?

“Panda got a hold of this earlier.”

“Ah, that would explain why he smelled of soap this morning.”

Ah yes, Panda. When he arrived that morning, he had expected a cat. What he got was bear. An actual, genuine, panda bear. Named Panda. To be fair, they had named two cats the same thing, so he couldn’t fault Karna’s unimaginative naming. Then again, what would you name a panda?

“I’m sorry, someone sent him a _what_?”

“Uh, says here a fan from China gave him a panda bear cub. He...does in fact have the right certification to own one...apparently,” Sieg read in disbelief. 

“Aren’t they just symbolic adoptions though?”

“...At this point I don’t think we should question it.”

Sigurd dropped his head to the desk. He was going insane looking into this idol. In their nearly six straight hours of searching, everything was either erased from the internet, porn made by fans, or something as out of nowhere as owning a panda bear. Well, not completely, but mostly that was the case. 

What they did have was he was the eldest of six brothers, five of which held the surname Pandava from their father. He had collapsed during an interview at age 10 which resulted in a change in management, and then once the Kauravas Idol Company was established he switched over to it. Apparently it was managed and owned by his cousin, and weirdly was the _only_ idol signed on. So who knew what that was about. All of all, how he had stayed so long in the spotlight as an idol and having nearly nothing on him alone on the internet was suspicious. 

It was almost as if someone was trying to hide him from the world at large.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect a short bonus omake chapter about the panda before the dinner party.


	12. Omake - Panda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Karna.”_
> 
> _“Yes?”_
> 
> _“This is a giant panda.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I ever have a consistent update schedule? The answer will not surprise you

“Karna.”

“Yes?”

“This is a giant panda.”

Karna looked back over to the giant panda that was leisurely munching on bamboo. It was indeed a giant panda. A very passive, very lazy giant panda. Named Panda. 

“Why do you have a panda?”

“He was a gift. A fan sent him in. Technically, he belongs to the zoo.”

“And he has his own penthouse.”

“Arjuna insisted.”

Siegfried felt as if there could be nothing that could surprise him anymore at this very moment. Karna had a giant panda as a pet. Even if it did belong to the zoo- it was currently in a bamboo filled room on the top floor of an apartment building. He was certain it surpassed the weight limit of the elevator at that. Not only that but…

...What kind of person names a panda ‘Panda’?

The man he was dating apparently. The man he has now had sex with twice. The man he was meeting the family of in a day. Yep, he had _impeccable_ tastes. 

“Ah, his name was originally temporary. Since I’m not supposed to legally have him, Arjuna just called him Panda.”

And he had asked that out loud.

“What’s his official name?”

“I named him Cánbáo Shàngtiān.”

“What does that mean?”

“Bloody and cruel God.”

Siegfried wondered if perhaps there was a pattern to his partner’s naming themes considering their pets. Kriemhild had a similar tendency. She named her hawk what essentially translated to ‘dragon of devouring souls’. 

Siegfried really knew how to choose them, didn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 1 am and forgot to post it for like a week because I got distracted by other writing projects i started so like, 3 chapter update this month
> 
> also tell me if I read the characters wrong for the name's meaning, this would not be the first time i fucked up on character reading for my barely second language


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __  
**Hours until dinner: T-Minus 3 hours  
Status: Green (Safe)**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This dinner set up got way too fucking long so I'm posting it now and finishing the rest of the dinner for another update. 
> 
> Why is this so long?
> 
> I have no idea.

**Hours until dinner: T-Minus 3 hours  
Status: Green (Safe)**

“Bring food? Isn’t it a dinner we’re invited to?”

“It just has to be a gift alright, and I have no idea what else you could bring that she couldn’t use against you. Just make sure it’s fresh.”

Arjuna hung up from the call as Siegfried wondered what he could bring. A few minutes ago he was wondering how Arjuna even got his number, and how he had to figure out what kind of gift to bring. Sieg looked between the phone and Siegfried. That entire conversation certainly wasn’t ominous in the slightest. Having him call them three hours before the dinner and giving them the rundown on everything his mother would use against them if they messed up at the dinner was not how he imagined his next conversation with the top idol. To be fair he hadn’t considered a family dinner to be his next meeting with the guy either, so maybe that was on him for not expecting it. 

“Hm, Hagen might have a good recommendation.”

“Siegfried, I will beg you not to call him.”

Sigurd could only hold back a scream as Siegfried ignored him and called the man anyways. They were going to die. They were going to be murdered and thrown out into the garbage by the next day. All because Siegfried had somehow decided that Hagen of all people gave fantastic advice on gifts. The guy whose birthday gift for Siegfried had been a knife. A knife he had nearly stabbed him with a week earlier. And Siegfried had found it an extremely thoughtful gift. Sigurd was starting to wonder if this was a family issue they needed to address. 

“Why not baumkuchen? The pastry shop on 6th has really good ones. 

“Do you want me to get some for you as well?”

“_No_, I want dried grapes covered in pepper and onion deep fried in ice cream, yes I want the damn spit cake.”

Hagen hung up the phone and turned his attention to his client. While he did make quite a bit of money with his ice cream business, he was a man with many skills. Mainly because when you had a lot of skills, money was easy to make. And when you were a guy who had spent his childhood finding any sort of work just so he didn’t go hungry, skills were a necessity. It also might have been out of pure spite to do everything himself- which was how he knew how to wire an entire house and fix a house’s plumbing system since he was 14. But more importantly, his other main job besides ice-cream seller was a remover. 

A remover was more a catch-all term. People hire him to remove things. Things meaning people. And boxes, which it usually was. But he did in fact remove people. Nonviolently and violently. Short term and long term. Usually, they were high payers as well. This client was an especially high payer. 

“Please forgive me for that, this is technically my day off so I have to act that part.”

“That’s perfectly fine. I assume the money is enough for the assignment.”

“Yes, I’ll even throw the other three in for free.”

“Oh really? How nice. Consider the pay for the first target doubled then.”

His client held out her hand which he shook in agreement. 500,000 for a single day's worth of work. 

“It is wonderful to work with you, Ms. Panduli.”

**Hours until dinner: T-Minus 2 hours  
Status: Yellow (Caution)**

“You invited WHO?”

“I invited Durydhana and Yuyutsu.”

“Karna, I know we haven’t always gotten along, but of every single person you could have invited, why _him_?

The idol shrugged, “He’s my best friend and your cousin, it’s only natural.”

“Oh, so you can invite the guy who has actually attempted to murder us, but I can’t invite Krishna- who is also our cousin I might add?”

“This isn’t about you Arjuna, this is about Karna’s terrible standards and his choices on who he hangs out with,” Bhima said.

“I hang out with Arjuna.”

“...I walked you right into that one, sorry.”

Arjuna rubbed his temples. He was not going to start a fight with Karna right now. They all could wait to do all that when Karna wasn’t going through his teenage rebellion phase ten years too late. Right now all they had to do was survive. And, he had invited Yuyutsu, who was the only one of that set of cousins with any sense in him. Well he and Vikarna, but Yuyutsu also was the only one who actually thought before he said something. 

“I told him to pick up Siegfried on his way here.”

“Why are you like this?”

“Did Karna send a driver or something? There’s a...is that a limo?”

“He said a family member would give us a ride.”

“When was that?”

“Yesterday.”

“And you failed to mention this because?”

“The panda.”

Sigurd and Sieg considered this and nodded. The panda thing had thrown them off too. Sieg looked out the window and narrowed his eyes. Something seemed familiar about the big guy. Where had he seen him before? TV maybe?

He pulled out his phone as the eldest of the three approached the door, going through the tabs he had yet to delete from their searching the day before. He looked back out the window and looked at his screen. He did a double-take. Karna’s manager, the owner, and CEO of Kauravas Idol Corp. was standing outside their house with another man Sieg did not recognize in the least. Sieg quickly scrolled through his notes on his phone to remember why the hell this guy would be here. 

_Duryodhana, cousin, Karna’s manager, maybe attempted murderer - note 57_

“Oh shit.”

“You’re pacing.”

“_Oh really? I hadn’t noticed_.”

Yudhisthira let out a sigh as Arjuna went back to pacing a hole in the living room floor. He was worried that him living with Karna was leaving him worse for wear. He hadn’t been this stressed in years. And this wasn’t the first time this month either. Maybe he should live with one of them for a while.

“This is it, he’s absolutely snapped. This is how he’s leaving the idol career, taking all of us down with him.”

“That seems a little executive.”

“Have you _MET_ him? 

“I have known him longer than you.”

“...Shut up.”

“So this is the Siegfried Vasusena keeps telling me about.”

“Vasusena?”

“Ah right, it’s Karna to you guys. Yeah, he talks about you a lot.”

Siegfried felt something warm in his chest at that. The sort of warmth you got when someone you loved was around. On the inside, that much was obvious. On the outside, a simple nod was all Duryodhana got. 

If he was not used to someone being so flat-faced, he would be insulted. He was still a bit insulted, but not in a way that wounded his pride. Then again, that wasn’t hard to do with Duryodhana. It was something Bhima exploited. And Duryodhana exploited Bhima’s temper. It was a cycle that nearly caused a few murders but what was a family without any of those?

If you asked the same thing to anyone else, like Yuyutsu, he would probably say ‘everyone _but_ my family’ and then continue to be one of two voices of reason in the room. Which was not how he wanted to spend his Friday night, but here he was. With a whole other family to worry about. He was already wondering if maybe he could get away with drinking an entire bottle of alcohol at this dinner. He wasn’t an alcoholic, but this dinner might make him one.

“Sigurd. I think we left the front door unlocked,” Brynhildr brought up quietly as Sigurd stiffened in his seat. 

“Do you want me to call my sisters?”

“Please do.”

**Hours until dinner: T-Minus 1 hour  
Status: Yellow (Caution)**

“Welcome, I trust your trip went well.”

“Ye-”

“Your driver sucks and your snacks are crap.”

The man- who Sigurd and Sieg could recognize from the news articles as Yudhisthira, had his smile falter for a second before it returned. 

“I’m deeply sorry cousin, I’ll be sure to discuss this with the driver.”

Yuyutsu looked like he wanted to curl up and die right there. Duryodhana had eaten all of the snacks on the way there. He let out a hasty apology as he walked after his brother who had strolled off to who knows where in the penthouse. 

Yudhisthira let out a sigh as his face fell into a rather stoic resting face. Maybe that kind of face ran in the family, he and Karna certainly had it. They heard him mumble something about giving the driver a raise before turning his attention to them fully. His stoic face morphed into a smile as he welcomed them. 

“You must be the Siegfried I’ve heard about.”

“Karna really talks about him a lot does he?”

He blinked, “Oh, no, I heard it from Nakula. He was having a good laugh over finding out our brother was dating the wall he and Sahadeva ran into the other day.”

“Still?”

“_Still_? Nakula just found out today.”

Sieg swallowed his next comment. It probably wouldn’t be good to mention how they showed up at a bar. Considering Arjuna’s reaction, the second eldest’s reaction might be even more extreme. Well, as long as they didn’t say anything too bad, they should end up being fine for this dinner. 

“Did they sneak out to a bar again?”

“_Again_?”

“Pull back your shoulders, you’re slouching.”

Karna straightened up in his chair as Kunti pulled a brush through his hair. She was intent on getting a nasty tangle out of his hair. There wasn’t a tangle, there never was. 

His mother’s eyebrows furrowed in the mirror as she went over a part in the back of his hair. It was completely smooth but she kept running the brush through it as if she was certain there was a tangle. She kept parting and re-parting his hair as she brushed, not allowing for more than a few seconds of relief from the constant brushing. 

“You’re angry.”

“You shouldn’t be dating him. You shouldn’t be dating anyone.”

“You were fine with Vrishali.”

“Vrishali, '' She pulled back at his hair as she wrapped a ribbon around it, “Vrishali was low profile. She had no connection and could stay out of the public eye.”

Kunti glared at the ribbon and she untied it and dropped it on the floor, “His brother is dating an idol, he already has too much of a profile.”

That wasn’t the only reason. He was an alpha; that meant, to her, he could endanger Karna’s life with those pseudo heats. Alphas could aggravate heats in Omegas if they were already in one. Who knows what it would do with pseudo heats. 

She pulled his hair back behind his ears before pushing it back. A few locks of hair had gotten stuck between the chainlinks of his earring. Once again, she pulled it back to untangle it. She was stalling. Karna stared at her reflection as she brushed part of his hair over his eye. At this point, his mother seemed content and returned the brush to its place on the bathroom counter. She seemed to do a once over before nodding and turning to leave. 

In the mirror, Karna watched her stop short as she reached for the doorknob. He could see her hand tremble as she continued to stand there. It felt like an eternity before she finished the motion and exited the bathroom.

“You should wear the blue earrings, they look better than that one.”

**Minutes until dinner: T-Minus 30 Minutes  
Status: Yellow (Caution)**

“There’s a pool up here?” Sieg looked out the window to see the large deck pool.

“Yeah, mom had it installed when Yudhi and the others were little, so they’d have something to do during the summer.” 

Nakula pointed towards a part of the pool with a faux waterfall attracted above, “That’s where Duryodhana almost drowned Bhima.”

“What?”

“He gave him food poisoning. Bhima got him back by tricking him into getting on a fruit truck,” Sahadeva added as if it gave further clarification on the incident.

Sieg nodded in disbelief and looked back out to the pool. This family was completely crazy. In the past fifteen minutes, he had heard of at least thirteen murder attempts between members of this family and every single one had been an anecdote to something that was entirely unrelated. Was it so common that nearly everything in the house had a story like that?

“And this is the hallway where Arjuna almost killed Karna when they first met.”

“_What_.”

“Oh, it’s actually quite the funny story how they met, well technically they had already but Arjuna was too young to remember,” Yudhisthira smiled as he showed Siegfried where to put the gift they brought.

“Karna had come over after an interview and was crossing by the pool we were all in. Arjuna had run back inside to get something so he wasn’t out there with us. Karna was about to round the corner when Arjuna came barreling into him with a bodyboard in hand.”

He punched his palm with his other hand for emphasis.

“The force was enough to send our brother to the floor and Arjuna got a bloody nose from the board hitting him on the rebound. We had rushed in because it looked like they both hit the ground hard and then we saw the blood on the board and Karna’s shirt. It was quite the reunion I’d say. 

“Was Karna not around much?”

“It was far more common to see him on TV than in the house, he was always busy with idol work.”

“Did that bother you?”

The question caught the man off guard. Siegfried watched as his steps slowed and he brought a hand up to his chin. The air was silent as he stared forward in thought.

“I suppose as a child it did. With him always away I had to be the eldest of us all. I think,” He stopped himself as if he was afraid to continue on that train of thought, “It’s a curious experience to call a stranger your older brother.”

“Hm, I can understand that.”

Siegfried wondered if Sieg ever had that experience. He had been adopted from Romania as a young boy, but he was still old enough to be wary of him and Sigurd. While they had become brothers, at that time the six-year-old had to have also seen them as strangers. Though at this point and time it was hard to imagine that sort of relationship. Especially trying to imagine it after so long of knowing someone. 

“So yeah, one time he tried to burn the house down. ”

“I don’t like it how I can say I know what that’s like,” Sigurd sighed.

“Your cousins also went through a pyromantic phase?”

Sigurd slowly pointed to Brynhildr who was trying to act very interested in the potted plant nearby. 

“She nearly burned us alive on a date once.”

“...On accident?”

“I just got so excited,” Brynhildr shouted, “I poured so much of my love into the dinner that it caught on fire from the passion!”

“What a lovely dinner it was, I can still taste the wonderful spices you mixed in.” 

Bhima looked around as the two people next to him fell into a lovey-dovey bubble. They were happily reminiscing about a near-death date in the middle of a hallway. He knew he started the conversation but it felt like he was intruding on something. He was really hoping the same wouldn’t happen with Karna and his new boyfriend. He couldn’t imagine that flat face and lovey-dovey talk. He shivered, he didn’t need that image spot. 

Hagen let out a sigh as he walked out of the hall closet. He thought it would take forever for those kids to leave. How many things in that hallway were connected to accidents involving injury? And why were all of them important enough to talk about? Did these kids not have any friends or something? 

He wasn’t one to talk there. He had one friend, two roommates, and Brunnhilde. But that was mainly because she let him crash at her place one time. And lent him money that other one time. She also got him a birthday present too. 

Hagen stared at the wall. Why the hell did she hang out with him and Siegfried during high school? Why the hell did she still stay friends with them? Was it Siegfried? It had to be Siegfried. Then again, she did hate him for like three years. Was that just a girl thing? 

“Hey, Hagen.”

“Hey Siegfried, you have any idea why Brunnhilde-” He paused and turned to see Siegfried and one of the Pandava brothers staring at him, “Wha…”

“Isn’t it-”

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE ALREADY!?”

“Karna sent a ride. Isn’t today your day off?”

“...YES! I was dropping off an ice cream order. She ordered a lot. Fifty whole cups. Yeah.”

Hagen was internally freaking out. He wasn’t supposed to be seen by any of Siegfried’s incoming group. And here he was getting caught by Siegfried himself. Five hundred thousand dollars down the drain in an instant. 

“...I’m going to go no-”

“Yo, who's this guy?”

Duryodhana leaned in from the third hallway connected to the crossroad-hallway as if he had just stumbled across them. He actually did, he had ditched Yuyutsu in the dining room and his brother was still looking for him. Which probably meant he had another few minutes. 

“I believe he’s a friend of Siegfried’s.”

“Who is leaving. Right now.”

Unfortunately, Hagen felt an arm wrap around his neck as Duryodhana pulled him back from his escape. It was if the universe was conspiring against him at that very moment. He hoped to every god that had already forsaken him that he would be let go.

“Would you say you’re as close as family?”

“N-”

“He does have a spare key to the house.”

A smile broke out on Duryodhana’s face.

“Why don’t we invite him as well? This is a family dinner after all. And someone as small as him must be hungry.”

“I’m normal sized you giant-”

“We have more than enough food, I’m sure it won’t be much of a problem,” Yudhthisthira supplied, hopeful it would pacify his cousin’s antics for the night. 

“Hey wai-”

“Great! Let’s all head to the dining room then!”

“I will not-!”

“We brought the baumkuchen.”

“I will stay until dessert!”

**Minutes until dinner: T-Minus 0 Minutes  
Status: Red (DANGER)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a mistake making this dinner party so big but you know sometimes we have to make our bed and lie in it. 
> 
> <s>I'm already at a theoretical 4 updates this month with the split how the hell</s>


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You know, I’ve been rather curious how you started seeing each other.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this had no right to take as long as it did I swear

There were a few things that could render the entire family silent. This past month had been pushing that list to become much, much longer. The current occurrence to render them speechless was not Hagen’s sudden appearance- but his apparent, and spontaneous, impeccable table manners. Hagen von Tronje, the man who had the table manners as graceful as a sleep-deprived toddler on cocaine, was now able to follow the mannerisms to such an extent it made Sigurd do a double-take to make sure he was holding the right fork. 

Unbeknownst to him, and likely everyone who wasn’t Siegfried, Hagen had very literally just learned these manners from a YouTube video not two minutes ago while he was carried off by Duryodhana. He had used this same technique in his school days to pass a foreign language class that he had, in fact, not paid any attention to prior. He was still completely fluent in French, but save for the few customers who spoke it he didn’t have much use for it. 

Hagen was also having a complete and total internal meltdown. The only way he could describe it to another would be the feeling of a person violently clawing at what remaining fringes of sanity as they slowly lose that too from the week of no true sleep, and a diet substituting of only chocolate and cheese with a side of fish, finally culminating into the person collapsing in on themselves from the sheer density of their insanity. A truly terrifying once in a lifetime experience...but for Hagen that was just Friday. Which was probably how he was able to mask his descent so masterfully. 

On the other half of the table, Yuyutsu was already on his third glass before the second course. Duryodhana and Bhima had been passive-aggressive to each other the entire time as Kunti’s presence stopped them short of going full out against one another. That being said, it wasn’t like the others were much help. 

“Maybe you should cut back on all that dark meat you’re eating, _cousin_.”

“_Bhima_.”

“Oh, maybe you should pull your head out of those dark greens in your salad then, _cousin_.”

“_Duryodhana_.”

Yudhisthira cleared his throat and not so subtly nudged Karna’s arm, “I’m sure you both can be better for our guests.”

“No, no wait,” Sahadeva held up a hand as he crossed another name off a paper napkin, “I’ve almost got a bingo.”

The businessman breathed out his nose as he nudged Karna once again, who looked over and then back to the arguing men. He quietly slid the five dollars Nakula had passed over as a bet. Yudhisthira looked down at the money and then to Karna with a slightly insulted but mostly confused face. 

A sharp ‘ahem’ cut through the argument as the matron of the house put on a smile that Sigurd thought was certainly practiced. Bhima quieted down without much trouble after that, but Duryodhana was grumbling under his breath as Yuyutsu finished another glass. 

When they had gone to sit down, Karna’s mother had sat herself down in the seat next to Siegfried. Karna hadn’t appeared shocked and simply sat down in the seat next to her. Judging by the look Arjuna had given, however, that had to have been a move against their favor. 

“You know, I’ve been rather curious how you started seeing each other.”

She turned to face Siegfried, who didn’t appear to notice Arjuna’s frantic head shakes as if to signal to him not to say anything. Sigurd took a deep gulp of his water, silently hoping Siegfried would not say something that would cause them to be immediately kicked from the house. Because this was not the occasion where it would be appropriate to explain that meeting while people were eating. 

“He invited me to an aquarium.”

“_Oh_? Is that so?”

The question was a loaded gun waiting to fire. One wrong word and it would be their heads. It was a miracle Hagen was acting so polite. Except, even with the atmosphere as thick as it was, Sigurd wasn’t sure Siegfried would read it. This was how they had the incident with Brunnhilde six years ago. Except this time, Siegfried might not make it out alive.

“I’ve never been to one before, it was quite beautiful, especially the jellyfish.”

“My, how nice,” Kunti smiled, “How many dates have you been on since then?”

“Three or four,” Karna chimed in.

“_Or_?”

“Arjuna interrupted one of them, so it was split into two.”

“Do _not_ bring me into this!”

The attention was shifted onto Arjuna, who in a moment of panic shoved a bread roll into his mouth to give himself more time to think before a question was shot at him. He had to think this through. Their mother was already on edge, if she found out he had kept the secret as well he might end up in her line of fire. Not to mention that the reason he had skipped school work was to essentially cockblock Karna’s date, she could never know that. His excuse had only worked because he said he and Karna went to see the movie together on purpose. If he was quick enough he could redirect the conversation. 

His first problem was that he had no idea what to change the topic to. It couldn’t be too different or she would surely know he was trying to hide something. It couldn’t be too similar or she would turn the conversation back soon after. He looked at the twins, silently hoping one of them might take the hint and take over the conversation. 

“What-”

“OOOH was this the one you were texting me about? That creepy movie?” Duryodhana, of all people, was his savior in that moment.

Arjuna wasn’t sure how to feel about that. 

Karna nodded, “The ex-husband character was...disturbing.”

“What kind of person films that…” Siegfried mumbled.

“Its title was like, Second Lover or some crap? Sounded like a romance.”

“Wait, you went to see _that_ movie?” 

Hagen’s sudden butting into the conversation was a surprise to all. Was there something about the movie they didn’t know? Arjuna wondered if it was going to be revealed it was originally a grocery store romance novel for middle-aged women. That would explain a few things actually.

“You thought it was a _romance_? It’s the first part of the horror series called Doubt. The romance parts just get more disturbing as it goes on,” He turned to Duryodhana, “And you suggested that as a date idea?”

“How much worse does it get?”

“The main lead ends up getting emotionally and physiologically manipulated by the ex-husband and nearly kills the love interest in...rather...graphic,” he pushed his pointer fingers together so the tips touched, “uh, that kind of scene, you know?” 

“...Hagen, why do you know so much about it,” Sieg asked somewhat hesitantly. 

“I like browsing the library on my once a week break.”

“Don’t you work alone? Can’t you give yourself more break time?”

“Oh sue me for trying to make a living wage in this economy.”

”’_Sue me_’, you say...I can help with that,” A new voice chimed in.

Arjuna blinked and took a bite from his dinner. He looked behind him and then looked over to Karna. Karna was also gazing past him to stare at the man in the doorway. He swallowed. There was no way this was happening. No way in hell. He looked behind himself again. He was still there. 

“Indra! How lovely of you to finally join us.” Kunti said with a smile as she harshly cut into the meal on her plate. 

“I pride myself on being fashionably late as always.”

Another chair was pulled up as the man- Indra, sat down at the table. Immediately Sigurd felt as if they had been lured into a trap. Who was this man? He looked similar to Arjuna, almost too similar in fact. Were they related in some way? Was this something else the media was kept in the dark about?

“Oh, where are my manners? I haven’t introduced myself,” He looked over at them; almost directly at Siegfried, “I am Karna Kunteya’s lawyer, Indra. I’m here for...legal reasons.” The smile on his face as he said ‘legal reasons’ made the room grow colder. 

It was then Arjuna realized that his mother might actually be following through on a murder threat. Had it been any other lawyer it would have been fine. But no- it just had to be him. No matter how good they were on paper, Indra would find something. Even if he had to make it himself. 

“Now then, let’s start the interrogation, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter alone killed me through writer's block so I just ended up cutting it up for my own sake---


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“If you could be ever so kind, would you explain why you have a second bank account with such a substantial amount of money?”_
> 
> _“Oh that’s inheritance, I don’t really use it.”_
> 
> _“And why is that?”_
> 
> _“It’s cursed.”_
> 
> _“Pardon?”_
> 
> _“It’s cursed.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block needs to drop my number and stop calling me.

It was obvious this man already knew the answers to the questions he was asking. The way he was phrasing them left no room for vague responses. Which, unfortunately, meant nothing good for them when the questions began to be very obviously pointed at Siegfried. Had they been addressed to them all, they could have coordinated this better in their favor. But instead, they had to put faith in Hagen not accidentally or purposely incriminating Siegfried in the past five years. Which, if he hadn’t, would be a tremendous accomplishment. 

“If you could be ever so kind, would you explain why you have a second bank account with such a substantial amount of money?”

“Oh that’s inheritance, I don’t really use it.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s cursed.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s cursed.”

“..._Pardon_?”

Indra was actually surprised by that response. He expected ‘inheritance’ as some excuse of possibly any sort of monetary crime, but a cursed inheritance? That was a new one. 

“What do you mean by cursed?”

“It was my uncle’s, he tried to kill me and then left that money for me, and the last time I pulled any money out of it I got in a car accident,” Siegfried took another bite of his meal, “This is very well made, did one of you make it or was it a cook?”

“Well it was a joint effort between me and the kitchen staff but can we go back to the part where your uncle tried to _kill_ you,” Bhima questioned as he leaned forward in his chair.

The man appeared to pause and think as he picked up the salad bowl left in front of him to hand over to Karna. Kunti was preoccupied with cutting through her dinner as Siegfried awkwardly lifted the bowl for Karna to take. He didn’t so much as blink as it was passed over his mother’s head. Yudhisthira looked down at his brother’s plate. It was empty, so adding more food wasn’t unusual. But Karna didn’t gesture or ask for any other type of bowl. Perhaps their mother had him under another restriction. 

Siegfried shrugged, “I stayed with him during high school and he tried to kill me, didn’t work out, and then he left me with cursed money.”

“Why is it cursed?”

“Probably because he cursed it,” Hagen deadpanned. 

“But _why_?”

“I don’t know, why would Siegfried name both his cats after the guy?”

“Fafnir’s a good name okay?”

“...Our uncle’s name was Fafnir? I thought it was Regin?”

Sigurd shook his head, “No, Regin was the one we stayed with and who tried to kill _me_. He was also the one who killed Fafnir and ended up in jail.”

“Ooooh, got it.”

“I’m sorry, can we go back to the twice now attempted nepoticide and the actual fratricide?” Arjuna was a bit shocked at how casual they were being with this. 

“I mean it is kinda weird cause Siegfried was the only one Fafnir even liked,” Sigurd paused, “Then again he was kinda the only one Brunnhilde liked back then too...hmm, that’s just a coincidence, right?”

“Eh probably,” Hagen said without a hint of irony in his voice. 

Indra looked through the files he had brought. Sure there had been the report of the attempted murders, but he didn’t have an answer on why it was ‘cursed’. Looking through the rest of the reports there were a number of incidents involving Siegfried at his high school, but half of that could be attributed to these people being hormonal teenagers with access to an impressive amount of medieval weaponry and the communication skills of betta fish. 

Yudhishthira breathed out a sigh and looked over to his elder brother for some sort of intervention. This whole thing was involving him after all. Karna caught his gaze and nodded shortly. He picked up the salad bowl and based it back over to Siegfried as their mother tapped her nails at the table impatiently. While it had been weird how long Karna had that bowl of salad next to him after being handed it, that was not what he meant. He gazed down at Karna’s plate and paused. There was no salad on the plate. It hadn’t changed at all since he received the bowl nearly a half-hour ago. 

Indra looked at the paragraph a second time as the conversation in the background continued, his attention lost on it. How the hell was this guy alive still? He either had the best luck in the world or the absolute worst luck. That kind of trauma to a person’s body should have taken it out of commission for years. And yet this guy was up and moving again in mere weeks. 

“As enjoyable as this conversation is,” Kunti’s voice broke through like a gunshot, “I think I’ll be taking over the interrogation if you’re just going to get sidetracked, Indra.”

“You _hired_ me.”

“And just like in high school _I_ end up doing all the work.”

Indra held his hands up in defeat with half a smirk planted on his face. In all honesty, had it been any other client he would be far more professional. But when it came to an old friend he was more than fine slipping into a more casual approach. It helped that someone like Karna seem to inherit both of his parents’ tendency for getting roped up into drama. Not only did it supply him with a better story than the soaps on his TV, but a rather nice paycheck along with it. 

Kunti did not share the playfulness in her own smile; she directed her attention to Siegfried fully. If it was even possible, her eyes were like a tiger’s in that moment. Sigurd immediately noticed the shift in the atmosphere. The formalities of dinner were over.

This was the trial before an execution. 

“Siegfried von Xanten, have you slept with my son?”

Hagen covered his sigh with his napkin. That was a guillotine question. If he didn’t end up killing him, this woman would certainly do the job herself. He wondered if he would still get paid if that happened at the dinner. Sure he could still kill the rest of them but they were for free. He really wanted that money. 

“No.”

“_No_?”

Then again the guillotine was known for needing one or two shots before the head was fully cut off in many cases. And the man who suggested that mass beheading during the revolution ended up getting his head chopped off as well. Hagen didn’t particularly want the woman to die though. If she died he didn’t get paid. He’d also never get that baumkuchen, and he was not about to give up that baumkuchen. 

“No,” Siegfried repeated. 

Kunti stared hard at him. As did Arjuna. As did Siegfried’s brothers and sister-in-law. There was no way he was lying so blatantly. Not even Karna could get away with such a blunt lie to their mother. Arjuna sighed, well, at least he got ice cream out of this whole mess.

“Is that so…” Kunti trailed off before her face morphed into a sweet smile after a few seconds of thought, “Oh, I see.”

“You’re that old fashioned gentlemanly type that doesn’t kiss until the third date, aren’t you?”

“Ah, it’s something like that.”

The woman let out a fond sort of laughter, which only proved to further baffle the rest of the table. 

“That day in the market, you were getting a gift for my son weren’t you?”

“We did have crepes that day.”

“Oh crepes, I remember having that on a date once. What flavor did you end up getting?”

“Flavor...uh, I think it was apple cinnamon? And Karna got something like, tuna I believe.”

“_Tuna_?” Kunti echoed.

“Yes,” Karna cut in, “I was a bit surprised they were selling it, normally they don’t around here.”

“Tuna...heh, of course, that’s what you end up getting.”

Kunti's smile turned into a frown before she pursed her lips. She reached out and pulled on Karna’s cheek. He bit into his bread roll without skipping a beat from the assault on his face.

“Hiding all that from me and making me worried. You made me think you were dating some sort of degenerate.”

“Hm, sorry.”

“Don’t apologize so offhandedly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much further can I stretch out a dinner scene? The world may never know.


	16. Omake - Tuna Crepe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is technically a flashback omake

“Tuna crepe? Is that some sort of joke option?”

“It  _ is _ two bucks cheaper.”

“...You’re not seriously considering it are you?”

“Not all of us have an ‘allowance’ to throw around Pritha,” the voice was more teasing than anything as he fished out his wallet, “Some of us have to do this little thing called ‘budgetin’.” 

“Then let me ‘throw’ my allowance at it.”

“ _ I’m _ the one treatin’ ya here. If ya want to pay for the next date, be my guest.”

Pritha pursed her lips as she reached in her own wallet in her purse and pulled out a random banknote. She slapped it down on the vender’s counter before Surya could hand over the ones in his hand. The vendor's mouth was agape slightly as he held out the thin pancake treat which the teenager took in her hands before nudging her boyfriend that they were leaving.

  
“Uh, ma’am-!”

“Keep the change!”

Surya breathed out a sigh as he returned the money to his wallet. This was exactly what he was talking about. Their combined orders cost about seven bucks and there she was throwing down a banknote of fifty. At least it was better than when Indra threw his money around. It really took a true sadist to throw around hundred dollar banknotes for something like a water bottle while he was trying to budget for upcoming bills. 

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“And you didn’t need to get a joke item just because it was cheaper.”

“What part of budgetin’ is so foreign to you? You’re  _ in _ economics this year aren’t ya.”

“Budgeting and being a masochist aren’t the same thing.”

Surya let out a ‘tch’ and bit into his crepe. Pritha watched him chew up the likely awful tasting dessert as they waited next to the crosswalk. He let out a surprisingly pleased sounded hum as he took another bite. 

“‘It ain’t half bad.”

“Are you shitting me?”

Her boyfriend tore off a piece with the tuna filling and offered it up towards her. Pritha considered it, if it ended up being bad she at least had her own strawberry flavor to drive it out. She leaned forward to take it when she felt a quick peck on her lips instead. She blinked. Surya had tossed the piece he had just offered in his mouth as she stood there processing everything. She looked towards her own crepe. There was more missing from it than when she had last taken a bite. 

“...You dick.”

“You love me.” He said with a smile as he took another bite of the tuna crepe.

“...It really ain’t half bad.”

Pritha raised an eyebrow and looked at the crepe being offered up. She looked up to Surya’s face and then back down to the dessert. She let out a small sigh and leaned forward to take another bite. Once again, instead of a crepe, she was met with a peck on the lips. She looked away as her face heated up. She fell for it a second time.

“I’m not falling for such a cheap trick again.”

“Heh, I promise I’m done teasin’ ya.”

When she turned back towards him for another try at the crepe, she once again fell for the trap. She was sure her face was red at that point. It really wasn’t fair how he was able to do that so easily. Pirtha turned away from him and stuffed her crepe into her mouth as if to deter him from trying again. 

  
“Love ya’ Pritha.”

“...Love you too Surya.”

  
  


_ “Tuna?” Kunti echoed. _

_ “Yes,” Karna cut in, “I was a bit surprised they were selling it, normally they don’t around here.” _

_ “Tuna...heh, of course, that’s what you end up getting.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take a wild guess why the name's different.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You’re not staying?”_
> 
> _“Mh,” Karna nodded, “I’ll catch a ride back.”_
> 
> _“You can stay over if you’d like.”_
> 
> _Sigurd stared at Siegfried as he froze in the middle of his steps. Was he seriously inviting his boyfriend over after all of that? Was he actively trying to get himself killed? _
> 
> _“Ah, I’d like that.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once a chapter got beta'ed by someone, so thanks to Onyxiex for looking It over (though I did leave out some parts for suspense fufufu)

In a stroke of luck, Siegfried had managed to not only avoid being killed at dinner but, at least to the others, seemingly win over Kunti in quick succession. The final course and dessert turned from an interrogation into a more fond and jovial conversation where Karna’s mother took the time to casually brag about her sons. It suddenly felt less like she was trying to intimate them with legal threats and more like she was trying to intimate them with the sheer ability of her children. 

By the time dessert came around, and Hagen demolished the baumkuchen before anyone else had the chance to even get a bit of it, the exhaustion of the dinner finally hit everyone. Now that they had survived it, they just wanted to go home and sleep. Sigurd had taken the lead in getting ready to leave after finishing his dessert, announcing that they should be leaving at this time of night. 

As Sieg followed suit and got up to push in his chair, he gazed around not paying attention to the conversation still happening around him. He paused on the lawyer. For someone who had been shut down like that after interrogating them for an hour, he looked...surprisingly pleased with himself. The man must have noticed his staring, as he was suddenly being stared back at from the corner of the man’s eyes. The smile that spread across his face sent a shiver down his spine. That was the smile of a crocodile. 

“Oh my, is that late already?” Kunti’s voice cut in suddenly.

“We wouldn’t want to oppose any longer,” Brynhildr smiled sweetly, “We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Oh, auntie, do you mind if we crash here? I don’t think Yuyustu ready to be up and moving,” Duryodhana pointed to the man next to him who looked ready to pass out. All those drinks had finally taken effect it seemed. 

“Sure sure, I’m sure there’s a guest room…” She trailed off as Karna also got up from his chair along with Siegfried.

“You’re not staying?”

“Mh,” Karna nodded, “I’ll catch a ride back.”

“You can stay over if you’d like.”

Sigurd stared at Siegfried as he froze in the middle of his steps. Was he seriously inviting his boyfriend over after all of that? Was he actively trying to get himself killed? 

“Ah, I’d like that.”

“Yo, welcome back.”

The person sitting at the table was most definitely not any of Brynhildr’s sisters. Nor was it a sibling of anyone there. Who sat at the table, eating a bowl of chips, was none other than Ashwatthama. Karna lifted his hand in a faux wave.

“Yo.”

“How did you get in here?” Sigurd questioned.

“Uh, the lady here? Think her name is like, Brun-something?”

“Brunnhilde?”

“That’s it.”

“Okay...but why is she here?”

“_I_ wanted the good whisky Siegfried keeps hidden in the basement,” A new voice popped up as a bottle of whisky was slammed into the table, “Also wanted to cash in another one of my free coupons.”

Sigurd looked towards his brother. Then he looked towards Hagen. There was an equal chance she had a coupon with either of them. Why they thought that was a Christmas present was beyond him but considering she was using them he supposed it had been a good gift. He did have to wonder where Brynhildr’s sisters could have gone, however. If they had simply locked up and left, how did Brunnhilde get in?

“So, who’s the new guy,” The woman asked as she poured herself a glass. 

“Siegfried’s new boyfriend.” 

Brunnhilde threw her head back in a laugh as if the very idea was hysterical. She continued to laugh, and Hagen began to chuckle lightly along with her. The other stared at the two for a few seconds before slowly moving to sit down at the table and living area. It was a few minutes of those two having a grand time laughing at the idea of Siegfried being with someone again before Brunnhilde noticed no one else was laughing. 

“...You’re serious?”

She straightened up in her set.

“What’s the catch?”

“What do you mean?”

“No offense to you,” She looked over at Karna, “But evidently, Siegfried’s type always ends up with some sort of catch. So what is it?”

“I mean we just got back from Siegfried almost getting murdered at dinner had he not won over the mom so I guess that’s it,” Hagen shrugged and took a sip directly from the whiskey on the table.

Sigurd stared at him with a look of disbelief, hand still outstretched to grab the bottle to pour Brynhildr a bit to drink. He passed her his glass, which she handed back after taking a sip so he could take a drink as well in solidarity. Brunnhilde paid no heed and refilled her glass as Hagen grasped at the air for a few seconds, confused on why the bottle was gone so suddenly.

“I mean at least the murder attempt was upfront this time.”

Hagen looked off to the side as he took a handful of chips as if he still wasn’t on the clock. ‘Upfront’. It was about as upfront as Brunnhilde’s had been back then. Though at least this time he did have a monetary payment waiting. Then again it had been a unique situation back then. Unique in that approximately three and a half people wanted him dead and somehow each one of them knew about his cleaner duties. How every single one of them found out is still a mystery to him. 

“So if he’s the boyfriend who's the redhead?”

“Ashwatthama, I’m the bodyguard.”

Brunnhilde took another swig from her glass, “Oh Siegfried, what have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“Just a Top Idol.”

“Just a Top Idol!?” She sputtered.

“Uh, not to change the topic completely, but why is Ashwatthama here?” Sieg pointed over to the bodyguard.

“I called him.”

“Oh okay.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Wait, when?”

“Around the time Duryo picked you all up.”

There was another round of silence as the participants of the dinner thought about that statement. It did make sense. If his mother had intended for a murder attempt, sending him here to intercept would have been in their best interest. 

“So what kind of favor are you cashing in,” Siegfried redirected the conversation suddenly.

“Hm, oh yeah, I’m crashing here for a week.”

“Wait why?” Brynhildr interjected.

“House renovations,” Brunnhilde fished a handmade coupon from her coat pocket and passed it over to Siegfried, “I’ll be taking the guest bedroom, thank you very much.”

“Uh, what about the other two?” Sieg gestured towards the idol and his bodyguard.

Ashwatthama pointed towards the couch, “Probably best if I take that.”

“Absolutely everyone here knows he’s staying with Siegfried for the night faker,” Hagen pushed in his chair from the table, “Now if anyone needs me I’m going to be in the basement.”

“You’re staying as well?”

“Sound a little more disgusted there why don’t ya’ faker.”

Sieg visibility deflated as Hagen walked away from the group. It felt like no matter what he said Hagen would be pissed at him for it. He wasn’t even trying to be confrontational. But no matter what he did the older man always got pissed off at him. Sure, he didn’t really _like_ him but it wasn’t like he went out of his way to anger him. Siegfried always told him it wasn’t personal, that he was just like that with everyone, but it sure as hell felt personal.

“I’m going to head off to bed.”

Brynhildr nodded, “Yes, I think we all should, it’s been a long day.”

No one voiced an argument to that. That dinner had felt like they had been there for months. In reality, it hadn’t been more than four hours at most. At least the food at been good, even if there was a suspicious lack of ice cream despite Hagen’s claim of delivering quite a bit. 

Karna yawned as he stripped out of the suit from dinner in the bathroom connected to Siegfried’s room. He always felt so stuffy with suits, but his mother insisted he wore it. He had borrowed Brynhildr’s make-up remover seeing as he still needed to remove the make-up on his face. He didn’t have all that he needed, nor anything he normally used in any case. But he wasn’t about to complain after already imposing himself. He had what he needed to get the make-up off, he could deal with the rest when he got back home. 

A knock at the door alerted him to Siegfried entering the bathroom with a folded shirt and pants in his hand. Karna finished wiping the washcloth across his face to accept the clothes. They were a bit faded but looked well cared for. 

“I found a pair of my old pajamas, they might be a bit short on you if that’s alright.”

“Thank you, where should I leave my clothes?”

“You can put them in the hamper if you’d like.”

Karna did just that after he exited the bathroom, his hair was no longer styled but still brushed down instead of his usual look. He unhooked his earrings and placed them on the bedside table before sinking into the bed. A please sigh escaped him as the coolness of the sheets seeped into his bones. 

Siegfried stretched before going to lay down on the bed. Sitting for long periods never really suited him well. He looked over to Karna, hearing him shift around on the bed. Turning onto his side, Siegfried and Karna stared at each other silently. Not that the Siegfried minded. The silence was oddly comforting to him. 

“Siegfried,” Karna suddenly said.

“Hm?”

“Do you want to do it?”

“Huh, sure.”

It took a few moments for Siegfried’s brain to fully register what had been said. It took a few more seconds for him to register being gently pushed onto his back and his hips being straddled. And then it finally clicked.

“**_Oh_**.”

“You know,” Indra drawled, “I never took you for a voyeur, Kunti.”

“And I never took you for an actor. How long did it take you to rehearse all that? A month?

“I’m just as capable of being caught off guard as anyone else as unbelievable that may be. Come on,” He crossed his arms, “A literally cursed inheritance? How does anyone prepare for that reason?”

“You’re a lawyer. It’s in your job to prepare for that reason.”

Indra clicked his tongue and leaned back against the office door. Kunti turned the volume on the recorder off as she sat back in the office chair. ‘No’, he had said. There was no way this was the first time they had done it. Lying straight to her face like that. A bitter smile took shape. Karna had lied at the doctor’s office about that as well, hadn’t he? To think he would try to hide all of that from her. This was a rebellion. 

“Kekehaha,” Indra smirked, “What did you tell him to get those earrings on? That they look better than Surya’s?”

“Don’t you have something better to do than run your mouth?”

“Oh, is this not banter between old friends? Sharing grievances over children growing up too fast? Judging the partners they choose because they don’t fit our standard,” He paused, “Cursing that our children are repeating our own mistakes?”

He knew he had struck a wound with that. Even if she had learned how to keep her face cold he could see the anger spark up in her eyes as she glared at him. Friends they may be, but Indra could never pass up an opportunity to push buttons to get a response he wanted. 

The conversation was over now, he knew that quite well. If he tried to pick it up once again Kunti would have shut him down no matter what he said. He turned his head to the side, hearing the faint sound of someone shuffling away from the other side of the door. Perhaps he had been more accurate with his attack than he thought. 

Hagen shifted around on the balls of his feet, staring down at the man in the bed below him. He wasn’t a procrastinator in all honesty. If anything, his ability to get things done quickly was one of the few things people spoke positivity about him. 

And yet, here he was. Doing his damnest to prolong how long he could put off using the knife in his hand. The clock in the room felt unnecessarily loud as it ticked away on the wall. He looked over to it. Barely a minute had passed since he last looked. He turned his gaze back to the sleeping Siegfried, clutching the knife’s handle between his fingers as he had the same argument in his head once again. 

He looked over to the man sleeping next to him. The idol was fast asleep, but he had no idea if the guy was a light sleeper or not. He hadn’t been roused by the door being opened, but a door and the trashing of a dying man were very different sounds. Hagen looked back at the clock. Another minute had passed, the second hand ticking away almost mockingly slow. 

Ashwatthama felt his phone start to ring as the killer in the movie began the stalk the protagonist. Brunnhilde paused the movie as he answered. Arjuna wanted something, probably to question if anything had happened. 

“Yo, Ashwatthama speakin’.”

“_Where are you?_”

“The boy toy’s house, why?”

“_You need to get rid of Karna’s earrings._”

Brunnhilde watched as the man’s face shifted into a stern, serious one. He got up from the couch and began to walk away when she asked if she should keep the movie paused. All she got was a shake of his head, so she pressed play and continued watching. 

Ashwatthama walked down the hall towards Siegfried’s room. He paused in front of the door as he looked at the other doors. No lights were peaking out. Everyone was asleep save for him and Brunnhilde it seemed. 

“Why exactly?”

“_It’s mother, she’s bugged them._”

When he heard the steps coming towards the room, Hagen had snapped out of his mental argument to stare at the door. He could hear the bodyguard talking to someone, but whoever he was talking to either was too quite or on a phone. He looked back at the bed and then to the door. There wasn’t going to be a way to explain why he was standing over the two with a knife to a bodyguard. Had it been Brunnhilde, maybe he could have written it off as old habits. But someone whose entire job was to prevent this sort of thing, there was no way he was getting out of this safely. 

Hoping the guy would be talking for a few seconds longer Hagen dropped to the floor as quickly and as quietly as he could to roll under the bed. He pushed himself towards the head of the bed, where the side table would cover more than the overhanging bedsheets would. Had it been less of a nerve-racking situation, he would have found his position- curled up under a bed with a knife, reminiscent. But the situation at hand stiffened up his body as he waited for the man to enter the room. 

Ashwatthama opened up the door, quickly making his way over to the other side of the bed. Karna was still fast asleep, and the blue earrings were laying on the bedside table unassumingly. He picked them up and exited the room as quickly as he had entered it. ‘_Get rid of them_’, he still needed to figure out how to do that. And quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact I still forget the two major core pieces of this au so get ready for that to be more in your face next chapter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“What did you do?”_
> 
> _“Well guten fucking Tag to you too.”  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slams this down at 12 AM* this was supposed to be smut omake, didn't work out, turned into world-building and explaining A/B/O dynamics in scientific style, that got too long, cut it up, posting the rest later, sleep is needed, enjoy.

When Siegfried awoke, he could attest three things. One, he was naked. Two, Karna was fast asleep next to him, and also naked. Three, Hagen was laying on the end of the bed with a book he was simply holding up as the pages hung down with the most uninterested face he had ever seen on the man in his life. Somewhat thankfully, he was very much _not_ naked. 

“What did you do?”

“Well guten fucking Tag to you too.”

It wasn’t so much _what_ Hagen had done. Siegfried had known him long enough to know _why_ he was lounging on his bed bored out of his mind. The real unspoken question was _who_ had hired him this time. Hagen, feeling the stare dig into his side, rolled over to face Siegfried and prop his head upon his fist. 

“I’ll give you three guesses. Your first two don’t count.”

“His mother.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“How much?” Siegfried tilted his head curiously. 

“Five hundred thousand.”

Siegfried blinked. “_Only_ five hundred thousand?”

“It was originally two-fifty, she doubled it when I threw in some freebies.”

“Two hundred thousand…” Siegfried frowned, “Have I done something to piss you off? That’s the lowest you’ve ever accepted…”

Hagen stared hard at him. That wasn’t _completely_ true. He had accepted lower, but he supposed those didn’t count considering the situation. But 250,000 _was_ cheaper than his usual pricings for him. _500,000_ was cheaper than his usual. That was less than half of the most recent call in, and Hagen still got the cash because the guy paid it all upfront. It wasn’t like he could be sued for that in any case. The perks of illegal business he supposed. 

“...It’s probably because you blew me off for that date of yours the other day.”

“Ah, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.”

“You better. Or else I’m dropping it to a hundred thousand next time. No, _fifty_ thousand!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

Next to him, Karna stirred awake. Sitting up and letting out a yawn, it appeared as if his brain was taking a few seconds to process everything at that moment. Once it set in he simply let out a ‘hm’ and nodded his head. 

“Good morning Siegfried, Hagen.”

“Yeah start getting used to seeing me here, it’s part of the Siegfried package.”

He did not clarify if that meant literally on this bed, the house, any bed they choose to sleep in, or simply in the room with them after they had sex. In some way, it was probably better he didn’t. In another, it would be highly suspicious sounding to anyone else. As in, anyone who wasn’t a recently woken up Karna. 

“So you’ve been here the whole time?”

“...I wasn’t here while you were having sex if that’s what you’re asking. Siegfried,” He turned from Karna to his friend, “I’m begging you to never have sex again if that is what he’s asking. I will personally castrate you if that’s what you need to fulfill that request.”

“No, I just heard the door open last night, I was curious if that was you or someone else.”

He was not a heavy sleeper. In fact, he awoke very easily. What he was good at, however, was pretending to be asleep. It was better to pretend you weren’t aware of what was happening and to hold the information for later. At least, that’s what his mother had told him when he was little. He wasn’t as good at it as she was. Once when he was six, she had pretended to sleep for nearly a week after an older woman had tried to take him away from his class. 

“Was it once or twice?”

“The first time, I know Ash was in here.” 

“What makes you say that.”

“The earrings are gone and someone turned on the garbage disposal not long after it closed again.”

“...That would explain the horrifying shredding sound,” the man grimaced. 

Hagen thought back to the sound that suddenly filled his ears as he considered exiting the room quickly had forced his resolve to wait until the morning. He wasn’t about to ‘accidentally’ be pushed too close to it and nearly lose his fingers again. Once was bad enough and he didn’t need that memory resurfacing again. He briefly considered uninstalling it but apparently when it was in another person’s house that was ‘_damage of private property_’ and ‘_illegal_’. A bunch of nonsense was what that was. 

“Uh, Hagen.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll leave so you can get dressed.”

Hagen got up from the bed and picked up the knife that sat on the bedside table and walked towards the closed blinded window. At Siegfried’s forced cough, Hagen let out an exaggerated groan and turned on his heels towards the door. He never got to leave from the window anymore. 

Brynhildr raised an eyebrow as Hagen entered the dining area from Siegfried’s room with a knife in hand and his trademark resting murderous face. Which was just another way of saying he always looked pissed off about something. Before anyone could say anything, Hagen looked directly over at Sieg and shoved the knife’s handle towards him. 

“Here, hold this.”

With that, Hagen left through the front door. Sieg looked towards the door and then to the knife in his hand. He breathed out a tired sigh. He had to stop accepting knives handed to him. One of these days it was going to be an actual murder weapon. In all likelihood, Hagen would also be responsible. 

“The return of ‘_**Hagen Leaving Siegfried’s Room After he Sleeps With Someone More Disheveled Than Usual: The Reckoning**_’.”

“Brunnhilde are you implying he joined them?”

Sigurd did not appreciate how Brunnhilde only laughed in response. 

“Oh, that would _not_ be the first time something like that happened.”

“What do you mean?”

She got up from the table, still laughing, to grab her coat from the couch. As she put it on she seemingly ignored Sigurd’s continued repetition of his question. She waved as she walked out the door, laughing as if the question was still the funniest thing she had heard that morning. Sigurd nearly spirited to the door to call after her.

“Brunnhilde?! What the hell do you mean?! Brunnhilde!”

“Wonder what Sigurd is yelling about,” Siegfried said as he pulled over a shirt. 

Karna let out a hum of agreement, tilting his head as he considered if he should wear the suit again. He hadn’t thought to grab an extra set of clothes nor had he considered checking the limbo if perhaps there were a spare set there. He wasn’t sure if there was anything in the car either. He hadn’t thought this through. But he could just take a shower and change once he got home. 

“Ah,” Siegfried suddenly remembered, “Did you smell anything last night?”

“Smell?”

“Something sweet.”

“_Sweet_?”

“I had thought it was something just at the bar originally but since it happened again-”

“Siegfried do you have anything planned today?”

He blinked.

“No, why?”

“Ashwatthama, get the car, we need to go to the clinic.”

Ashwatthama looked at the remaining pancakes on his plate before shoveling them into his mouth. Wiping his mouth with a napkin he hopped out of his seat and followed Karna out the door. Siegfried stepped out with them, leaving the remaining three people in the house in a state of confusion. 

Sigurd spirited over to the front door again and shouted out towards them, “Siegfried?! What the hell is happening?! What did Brunnhilde mean?! Why are you going to a clinic?!”

“SIEGFRIED!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone remind me to name all these chapters later


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As he did every morning, Dr. Afon Ivanov drank his coffee in his office as he waited for patients to come in for the day. When he heard the rather loud opening of the front door to the office and the intern’s cup crashing to the floor he took a long sip as he waited for the familiar voice to call through the intercom that **Ms. Panduli was here and if he could, pretty please come to the front desk to deal with her**. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **S C I E N C E**
> 
> sorta
> 
> technically an info dump chapter so if you want to read about how abo works in this story that's what this is mainly about
> 
> ~~Beta read by Onyxiex~~

As he did every morning, Dr. Afon Ivanov drank his coffee in his office as he waited for patients to come in for the day. When he heard the rather loud opening of the front door to the office and the intern’s cup crashing to the floor he took a long sip as he waited for the familiar voice to call through the intercom that _Ms. Panduli was here and if he could, pretty please come to the front desk to deal with her_. 

Hearing the surprised voice of the intern squeak through the intercom, he put down his cup and walked towards the front. To his surprise, there was no Ms. Panduli tapping a hole into the front counter. In fact, there was no Ms. Panduli. Mr. Kunteya, with two men- one of which he recognized as a bodyguard, instead were the only people who stood in front of the shaken intern. 

“Alright, already this is either a good or bad sign.”

“It’s pseudo-heats.” 

“Of course it is,” the doctor sighed, “Please come to the back Mr. Kunteya.”

“And him,” Ashwatthama pointed towards Siegfried.

“...Mr…” Dr. Ivanov trailed off.

“Siegfried von Xanten, I’m his partner.”

“Ah.” That explained it. 

“Please do not tell me you already hit six pseudo-heats.”

“No, we’re only at one more than last time.”

“And…?”

“Is it possible that having an Alpha partner could have expedited the heat cycle?”

The doctor opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. He considered the question. That, actually _could_ affect them. In normal Omegas, Alphas- typically their partners, could induce heats quicker than usual; or in some rare cases, for longer. Due to the rarity of the condition of an Alpha having heats, even pseudo ones, there hadn’t been much testing in that regard. 

“You _may_ be onto something.”

However, even in normal Omegas, it took a few sexual encounters with the specific Alpha before something like that happened. There were several recorded cases of it happening sooner than others due to many factors, one of which was repeated release of Alpha pheromones nearby even if it wasn’t the partner. But even then those studies were under some investigation due to complications in some of the factors and the inconstancy of similar circumstances not yielding the same results. 

It was possible his patient was being affected by the repeated release of nearby Alpha pheromones. A number of the Top Idols were Alphas, and many security companies hired Alphas over Omegas or Betas. He paused in his thoughts. He didn’t think Karna’s own pheromones could be affecting anything, at the very least it never had before. 

“Uh,” Siegfried’s voice cut in, “What is a pseudo heat?”

“...Mr. Kunteya.”

“Yes?”

“Did you, maybe, _not_ tell him of your condition?”

“It didn’t come up.”

Dr. Ivanov rubbed the bridge of his nose. In other words, no good opportunity came up. Which to be fair, considering his schedule, probably was more likely than the other possibility of ‘I didn’t think it was important’. Which, he really hoped was not what it turned out to be. If it was he was going to commit a violation that would lose him his medical license. Or maybe several. 

“Alright, Mr. von Xanten,” He turned to Siegfried, “How familiar are you with tertiary sexual characteristics?”

“...I have just learned they are called tertiary sexual characteristics.”

The doctor let out a long, heavy, sigh. He was going to be here for a while. 

“Let’s start from the beginning then,” The doctor pulled down the diagram of the human body he asked the intern to bring in before clearing his throat to begin the explanation.

“Humans have Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary Sexual Characteristics. 

Primary included the usual XX Chromosome and XY Chromosome combination for Females and Males. Typically, it will also include the gonads they possess, the hormones they possess in the greatest quantity, the internal anatomy of genitalia, and the external anatomy of genitalia. 

Secondary characteristics included differences in things such as breasts, menstrual cycles, body shape development, height, body fat, lung capacity, the size of the heart, and hair from various parts of the body. 

Tertiary is the official term for the grouping of the Secondary Sexes; Alpha, Beta, and Omega. These are largely dependent on the hormones possessed by the individual. 

Alphas, regardless of having the primary characteristics for Male or Female, will have much higher testosterone and much lower gestagen. This is why many female Alphas have difficulty or the incapability of giving birth, as they don’t possess enough or any of the hormones that greatly impacts the ability to sustain a pregnancy. 

Betas tend to fall much more in line with the typical primary characteristics of Male and Female. As a result, they are used most often in scientific studies as they are the characteristics present in the majority of the population. 

Omegas, regardless if they have the primary characteristics for Male or Female, will possess gestagen and the other progestogens. This is what allows Male Omega to give birth; along with the reproductive organs responsible for such a thing,”

He looked over to Siegfried to see if he was following along. The man gave a slow nod as everything seemed to be absorbed. Dr. Ivanov almost wished he would have less of a flat face so he would tell more easily if the man was lost or not. Regardless, he pointed towards a different part of the diagram to continue. 

“Now, by technicalities, Female Alphas and Male Omegas are intersex by design. This is most prominent according to many people in a Female Alpha’s ability to produce sperm in accordance to induce pregnancy in Omega partners. Conversely, the equivalent to the Male Omega would be the ability to carry a fetus to term and to ovulate.

However, any of the other combinations can be considered intersex as well. This,” He pointed at Karna, “Is where Mr. Kunteya’s condition comes in.”

“But before that,” he paused, “Do you know what a parasitic twin is?”

“...Somewhat yes.”

“Well it’s partially that, and partially a medical anomaly.”

“...Okay?”

The doctor pointed at the pelvis area on the male model,

“In Mr. Kunteya’s case, it is a strange thing. While most of the underdeveloped twin was absorbed in the womb, he maintained the partial, underdeveloped reproductive system of the twin. Now, had the twin been born it would have been a medical anomaly on its own. Normally twins are of the same tertiary group, however, based upon how the reproductive system has acted it appears his twin was an Omega. Due to when the twin was absorbed it was determined to be female which brings another anomaly which while not uncommon in Beta twins is highly unusual for an Alpha and Omega twin pair. Normally if this were to happen the Omega and Alpha would have the same or similar Primary characteristics.”

“If it’s underdeveloped, how is it making heats?”

“That’s why they’re called pseudo heats. They don't function like real heats. It doesn’t increase the chance of pregnancy, the increase in libido is negligible at best...really, the closest relation it has to proper heats is the phenomenon release. It’s seemingly stuck in a state where it’s developed along with the rest of his body however there is not enough of the regular hormones an Omega develops for it to fully develop itself.”

Karna considered that last piece of information. He wondered, if maybe, the medicine was affecting that production. He had been getting more with the new batch. Was a side affect more production of those hormones he didn’t normally have in excess?

When he spoke the question, his doctor took a moment to think. 

“That could _also_ be possible. I hadn’t thought it would be since it was similar to the previous one, but perhaps one of the compounds is causing your body to produce more and that’s setting it off like this,” He looked over to Siegfried, “How would you like to help with a science experiment?”

He was in this deep already. A science experiment would be the least shocking thing about today. He was still processing some of that explanation on the whole parasitic twin. So Siegfried nodded in agreement.

“Great. I need you two to have sex.”

Silence enveloped the room.

“Uh...right now?”

“I don’t have the permit for that so no. I just need you two to have sex and record whatever you experience. Pheromones, increased libido, that sort of thing.”

“Oh thank god.”

“...Have people been asking you to have sex in front of them?”

“Well, my mother did make me wear bugged earrings so she could prove we were lying about having sex.”

“Wait, she _what_?”

“That’s why the earrings were gone this morning. She’s done it before.”

“I’m sorry, but, _**what**_?”

The doctor felt sympathy for the man. He really had no idea what kind of craziness he was getting into. Though that was the first he heard of the earrings being bugged. But considering her previous stunts, it wasn’t surprising. At least it wasn’t a murder attempt this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone tell me the explanation makes some sense


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“She **bugged** your earrings? To see if we would have **sex**?”_
> 
> _“...Yeah.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This only took so god damn long cause I kept getting blocked on Siegfried and Karna trying to communicate because of course I do. 
> 
> Beta'ed by Oynx
> 
> Person Holding Any and All Arjunas Hostage Until I Finish This Story also by Oynx

“She  ** _bugged_ ** your earrings? To see if we would have  ** _sex_ ** ?”

“...Yeah.”

“You know,” Siegfried started, “I was fine with the complete lack of mention of the idol career. I was fine with the murder attempts. I was even fine with not knowing about an important medical condition until a few minutes ago. But that? That’s where I’m drawing a line. What the actual  _ hell _ ?”

Karna looked at him silently for an uncomfortable period of time. 

“Ah, right,” He paused, “That’s not normal is it?”

Siegfried stared back at him.

“No,” He said, “That is...that is the furthest thing from normal.”

“Ya’ preachin’ to the choir here,” Ashwatthama grumbled as he turned a corner.

“ _ Why _ would she do that?”

Karna shrugged as he leaned against the darkened windows. Bugging his earrings wasn’t new. She had used that trick almost too many times at this point. He frowned. Vrishali had gotten pissed at this same thing. He stopped wearing most of his earrings because of that. He knew she had set up a new pair, but for some reason, he had hoped she would have let it go once told point blank it wasn’t happening. She hadn’t questioned it before then.

“Sorry, she’s just…” He paused, trying to think of a word, “She’s…”

  
“She’s just a mother.”

Siegfried squeezed his hands together. Karna wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was staring out the darkened windows.  _ Just a mother _ , even his own mother hadn’t been like that. He couldn’t wrap his head around this. Everything else he could. But, just what sort of mother bugged their child to listen in on their sex life? 

“...Do you really believe that?”

He can see Karna visibly tense. The darkened glass may obscure his face to the outside, but Siegfried can see the furrowed brows of Karna reflected on it. The car slowed to a stop as they approached a stoplight. The only noise was the soft music coming from the car’s radio. 

“I don’t have the choice to question it. It’s just how things are.”

Something about that statement made Siegfried frown. It struck a familiar chord that he hadn’t ever been fond of. Hagen had spoken like that as a child, but it had always sounded so vitriolic and spiteful when he said it. Coming from Karna, however, it sounded as if he had long been forlorn about the topic.

“Sorry.” 

“...It’s not your fault. That’s just how she is.”

“Are you okay with that?”

Karna inhaled sharply. That question hit him too sharply. He  _ wasn’t _ . He wasn’t okay with that. He never had been. But it was never his place to say anything against it. It hadn’t been like he had anyone else  _ but _ his mother for the longest time. Even when Pandu was alive he only had his mother. Even  _ now _ he didn’t have much else but her. 

He jolted in his seat, snapping his head around. Siegfried blinked. He had just reached out to place his hand on top of Karna’s. He slowly drew back but was stopped by Karna reaching towards him in response. 

“I...do not have communication skills.”

They both choose to ignore how Ashwatthama’s sudden burst of laughter nearly caused them to miss the stop sign. Siegfried also noted that the statement was almost glaring obvious at this point. Then again he wasn’t a paragon of communication either. Case in point, not telling apparently anyone until the next day he went to someone’s house to sleep with them. 

“But, I will try better.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I’m bac-”

“SIEGFRIED!” Sigurd nearly tripped over a dining room chair running. 

“What is happening! Why were you at a clinic! What did Brunnhilde mean!”

“Uh,” Siegfried looked to Brynhildr for help. He received none. 

“You’re gripping my arms very tightly and I only talked to a doctor.”

“And  _ why _ were you talking to a doctor?”

Had his stone face cracked even a small bit, Sigurd would have been able to see the complete and utter panic of a Siegfried who was fervently arguing with himself on how to answer his brother. The first obstacle was whether it was okay to even hint at Karna having a medical condition. Considering the amount of time it took a doctor who specialized in that area to explain it, Siegfried did not have much confidence he could repeat any of it. He did just find out that day that they were called tertiary gender characteristics. 

The second obstacle was coming up with a good enough excuse. He didn’t think airing out the revelation Karna’s mother had bugged his earrings would be a good idea at the moment. He wasn’t even sure if he knew how to explain that either. He wasn’t even sure  _ Karna _ knew how to explain it. 

“Siegfried?”

“...I accidentally swallowed an earring.”

Sigurd stared hard at him. From what it looked like he was trying to determine if there was any possibility in that being true. Unfortunately for him, Siegfried had swallowed worse. Granted he had been 12 when it last happened. That may have been worse considering he definitely knew swallowing that would have been a bad idea. But also Brunnhilde bet him her lunch for a month so he believed he had been the winner still. Even if he just ended up giving it to Hagen as per usual. 

“How did you swallow a...where did he go?”

“He walked out while you were thinking.”

“He  **can’t** keep doing this!”

Sigurd put the chair he knocked down in his haste back up and sat down. How on earth does one accidentally swallow an earring? He wasn’t sure Siegfried owned a pair. It couldn’t have been Brynhildr’s. Karna had worn a pair of earrings, had he accidentally swallowed one of those? That would explain the lack of earrings that morning. Sigurd made a noise that sounded like he had died a little on the inside.

  
  
  


“You want me to park first or just let you out here?”

“I can just take the elevator up, Arjuna’s going to be crossed with me when I get up there.”

The complex had three sets of elevators, one of which went up to the 12th story. The other two would only go as high as the 10th story. Not only that but the third one didn’t stop at any of the others, you had to go down a flight of stairs if you wanted to see someone on a floor other than the first. It also had a different keycard than the other two, if your card didn’t match it wouldn’t even move. 

So when Karna entered it and found someone already waiting inside, it was a bit surprising. What wasn’t surprising was who it was. Mainly because it was always him.

“Indra.”

“Well don’t you look happy to see me? All I’m here for is a friendly favor to request of you. No work.”

The elevator doors closed behind him. Karna could already tell he was going to get stuck in a conversation with the man during the entire journey to the top floor. Not to mention he had a request and even though he had somewhat of an idea of what it wasn’t like he would end up denying the man anything. He breathed out a sigh and leaned against the railing across from the smiling man. 

“I didn’t expect you to go behind mother’s back this early.”

“Then you obviously don’t know me well enough,” the smile widened, “And is it really going behind her back if she asked me, oh so worried, to check up on her dearest son.”

“And you want to make a deal.”

“I want to  _ help _ .”

There was a big difference in why the average person wanted to help and why Indra wanted to help. Indra would help anyone, yes, but it was not completely out of the goodness of his heart. Helping so many people gave him an outlet for entertainment. After all, when you’ll help with any sort of problem, you begin to get ones just like soap operas. 

“You want to see how far this is going to go.”

“Well, I can’t hide the fact I’m interested in the drama that is your love life. I mean after the last one ending with an attempted murder I wasn’t sure how you were going to one-up it.”

Karna’s eyes flicked to the number above the door. Three floors left. Indra moved away from the control panel from the side of the elevator. He wasn’t going to let him leave before they made a deal. 

“Now, let’s say this. I help you with your late-stage teenage rebellion, and you give me a good show to watch.”

“Why is everyone asking to watch my sex life.”

Indra blinked once. Then twice. Then thrice. 

“Oh dear god, can voyeurism be genetic?”

“...What.”

“I mean it’d have to be Kunti’s side of the family right? Right? I mean I’m a voyeur to suffering but would that even count in the same vein?”

“Indra.”

“Oh gods have I doomed my son to live the life of a voyeur? Is there a way to reverse that? Is this why he never wants to speak to me?”

“ _ Indra _ .”

“ _ What _ !”

“I was making a joke.”

“Oh.”

Indra made a noise as if his brain was short-circuiting. 

“Right, of course. One of your famous jokes. One of your famous jokes…” He trailed off. 

As the elevator dinged to notify them they were on the 12th floor, Indra coughed into his fist. Smiling as if the previous 30 seconds hadn’t just happened. 

“So, what do you say to my request?”

“...You’re not letting me out of this elevator until I say yes are you?”

The smile seemed far crueler as the smile widened like a crocodile. 

“We certainly wouldn’t want anything to spoil the good blood between us, would we,  _ Vasusena Radheya _ ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wish i knew how to add pictures to notes so I could share the bit of dialogue Oynx had about how I should end the scene
> 
> <s>also i have like, actual comedy for the next chapters I swear</s>


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _”Karna, dear and beloved elder brother of mine whom I love dearly,” at the lack of reaction Arjuna dropped the cheery tone, “ _jackass _who wanted to play this at two am in the morning when I have a test tomorrow morning, what the __hell_ _was that move?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has technically been done for like 10 hours but I needed to finish a drawing for the chapter
> 
> Beta’d: Onyx

“Karna.”

“Mh.”

“Karna.”

“Mh.”

“_ Karna _.”

“Mh.”

“_ Karna_! For the love of god, _ end your turn _!”

Arjuna released a suppressed scream inside his mouth as his brother took another 30 seconds to move his foot-soldier forward. Now that he had something to work with, any hope that this game was going to go anywhere was very quickly dashed when he realized Karna had practically sacrificed the piece he’d had been trying to keep alive for the past hour. Normally he’d see that as an irreversible slip up on Karna’s part, except for the fact he hadn’t even _moved in his chair _for **_half an hour_**.

He clicked his tongue as he took out his brother’s chariot with his horse. He looked for any sort of reaction from Karna, seeing how he was now one move away from checkmate. Karna gazed blankly until he moved the same foot-soldier again.

Arjuna felt part of his brain start to die as he waited for Karna to realize he couldn’t move the piece like that. Because it was the same spot as Arjuna’s other chariot. And the food-soldier couldn’t capture it like that. Karna didn’t make any move to realize his mistake, he simply continued to stare blankly. 

“Karna, dear and beloved elder brother of mine whom I love dearly,” at the lack of reaction Arjuna dropped the cheery tone, “_ jackass _ who wanted to play this at two am in the morning when I have a test tomorrow morning, what the _ hell _was that move?”

“...I’ve messed up.” Karna finally spoke. 

“No shit.”

“I shouldn’t have entertained Indra in the elevator.”

“Took you long enough-” the cogs inside Arjuna’s head suddenly turned. The words ‘entertained’, ‘Indra’, ‘elevator’, and ‘messed up’ turned together as he considered the implications. And not a single possibility was something Arjuna wanted to dwell on. There was an endless number of ways for him to relay this verbally which was likely why it came out as:

“What.”

“He cornered me in the elevator on the way up yesterday. Couldn’t leave unless I agreed to what he wanted.”

Arjuna was severely hoping that his brain was just not working correctly this early in the morning. Because he was very much not fond of the first scenario that played in his head. Nor the second. Or the third. He wasn’t fond of any of them really. 

“And he wanted…?”

“He said he wanted a good show.”

Arjuna was going to lose his mind. For the sake of his own sanity, he very quickly decided to think about the type of person his father was. Despite his near voyeuristic pleasure in watching people’s lives play out like a soap opera, Indra wasn’t that deprived. Which lead to:

“And he threatened someone?”

Karna simply nodded.

“Is it your boy toy?” His tone was less serious than before. 

“He threatened my family.”

“Eh, but he wouldn’t…” Arjuna trailed off. His brows furrowed. Karna hadn’t meant him or their brothers. He wouldn’t have phrased it like that if he had. Which meant could only mean one thing. 

That little secret name that he would barely hear through the door when their mom discussed with some unseen face. The one name his cousin insisted on using. The name that for years Arjuna didn’t even know existed. _ Vasusena_. 

“Shitty old man,” he mumbled. 

“What will you do then?”

Karna was silent. He reached over and picked up Arjuna’s counselor piece. Turning it over in his hand, an almost mischievous look shone behind his eyes.  
  


“How would you like to skip school today?”

  
  
  
  


Kunti tapped her nails on her desk. Receiving a text at 5 am from Arjuna saying he was taking a sick day from school hadn’t initially sparked any alarms. Arjuna had always been one to be punctual. The alarm bells began to ring when he said Karna was staying home as well. Karna had a few appointments that day. A fitting for a music video appearance, an interview with a small magazine that had passed her evaluation test, lunch right after, and a meeting with Duryodhana over a few clauses in the contract she wished to look over. Her eldest was trying to pull a teenage rebellious phase, but certainly, he wouldn’t drag his younger brother into it. 

Her tapping stilled. No, he wouldn’t drag him into his phase. Certainly, he would have rather lured Arjuna into it. He had lured him out of being an idol under her rules by presenting the idea of being a Net Idol. She remembered how he refused to speak to her for the week it took. Even when she tried to quell it it had turned into more of a motive for Arjuna to take the career into his own hands instead of hers. She still wasn’t sure how Karna had accomplished it, he hadn’t taken such an intense interest in something for years. And then Arjuna wanted to move in with Karna. 

A week, a week was all it took for him to change Arjuna’s opinion on her management. A week where he had barely been home already. And yet, somehow, Arjuna had been insistent on his decision. When his other brothers offered to take him instead Arjuna still held steadfast. He hadn’t been close to Karna then. She still couldn’t pin down _why _he had been so insistent on moving in with Karna compared to the brothers he had grown up with. To have a full argument down as well, he had planned this out before announcing it to them all. 

The messenger app stared up at her from her phone. Arjuna had gotten better at arguing with her emotions. Indra had always been good at that as well. That was in part why she was grateful she still had her friendship with the man. A lawyer who would do whatever his client wished to do, but with friends he was willing to simply do his job with little arguing. Even more so if it was entertaining. 

_ Arjuna _

Oh

I suppose he simply forgot he had something planned already then

But it’s not like he promised to do any of that, did he?

She knew what he was trying to do here. He was guilting her for that week. Had it been anyone else, she would have just ignored the veiled guilt trip. But his sudden retort had stuck in her mind. 

_ I hadn’t asked if he enjoyed it. _

Kunti breathed out a heavy sigh. If Arjuna wanted to play his hand this early, he would soon enough learn the downside of calling too quickly. If Indra’s tactics were any indication of Arjuna’s, she knew a bluff when she saw it. And when you played a bluff and no one folds, you find yourself outmatched without a weapon. 

_ Kunti _

No, just get some rest

  
  
  
  


A smirk tugged at Karna’s lips. She had always been softer on Arjuna than any of the others. Considering he was the baby for a number of years he supposed it made sense. But she’d never been so soft on him. It was either nothing was wrong with him or everything was wrong with him. 

He turned the phone over to Arjuna, who was already judging the imitation of his texting style. By the look he received, he had done a good enough job to imitate an Arjuna who was actually sick. Though, he could have been judging his clothing choices again. 

  
  


“What are you wearing?”

“What are _ you _wearing?”

Arjuna looked down at his outfit. If anything he would stand out less than Karna. Just a hoodie and shorts. Not exactly a strange outfit combination. Unlike Karna’s hoodie with its loud design and his bright red shirt. 

“What do you mean.”

Ashwatthama peaked his head in from outside to call out that he was here only to stop midway. He stared at the two idols with an expression that shifted from confusion to slight disgust. He lifted one of his hands to point at Arjuna.

“Where the FUCK are your pants!?”

“You can see the shorts! This hoodie isn't that long!”

“It is kinda that long.”

“Shut your face spray paint hoodie!”

“At least I have pants.”

Arjuna made an exasperated sound that was a muffled mix of a scream and a sigh. He took a deep breath. Karna was paying for everything today, or however long this trip would take. He wasn’t going to let this ruin his impromptu break. Even if those two were going to act like they’ve never worn moderately short shorts in their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Onyx, my beta: Dulla only sends me chapters like once every three months
> 
> Also Onyx: Hey Dulla you wanna play videos games ?  
Also Onyx: Hey Dulla you wanna work on other AUs?  
Also Onyx: Hey Dulla wanna work on OCs?


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _  
“Don’t you have school or something faker?  
“Please don’t call me that,” Sieg felt his motivation drop dead in mere seconds, “And my classes got canceled.”  
“That sounds like bullshit.”  
“I do not control the speed at which my teachers get hungover!"  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <s>haha this was supposed to go up yesterday but I fell asleep before Onyx was free to proofread haaaaaaa</s>
> 
> Me: I should probably get some focus on Siegfried since he's technically the main character here  
Also Me: *writes an omake of Arjuna and Karna shenanigans for this mini-plot*

“Don’t you have school or something faker?”

“Please don’t call me that,” Sieg felt his motivation drop dead in mere seconds, “And my classes got canceled.”

“That sounds like bullshit.”

“I do not control the speed at which my teachers get hungover!”

“Whatever, what do you want?”

“Gin and tonic.”

“You tryin’ to get me arrested brat?” Hagen sneered. 

“Fine, beef tongue,” Sieg pouted.

“Hundred bucks.”

“What! Why!?”

“You _**know**_ why.”

Sieg mumbled something under his breath as he dug out his wallet. The only solace he ever received from Hagen was that he would never try to intentionally kill him. Not while Siegfried was alive at least. Hagen had promised that. But if he didn’t try and make any moment of his life that involved him feel like hell he wouldn’t be Hagen. 

He handed over the bill which was harshly snatched out of his hand and replaced with an ice cream cone. If it wasn’t for the fact the man’s ice cream was criminally good Sieg wouldn’t have even considered indulging him with his outrageous prices. He still shivered when he remembered he had a customer who came every day to pick up ice cream for his partner and still forked over for the special pricing Hagen had for him. The amount of love that man had for that person had to be infinite, why else would someone willingly hand over nearly five hundred bucks for a single container? Of the people Hagen actually liked, the man’s partner was one of those rare few that were privy to such an ostentatious position. ‘His Favorite Customer’ he liked to say. Considering he was pulling in nearly two and a half thousand a week just from their desire for his ice cream, it was an apt title. That was also the only one he gave freebies too. Even Siegfried and Brunnhilde had to pay no matter what.

“Alright so why are you actually here. You stood here for like twenty minutes before ordering anything.”

Sieg pursed his lips. Siegfried had asked him to do this because he had said he was going to the park. But he also really didn’t want to get more onto Hagen’s nerves, lest he became the target of his wrath by the request.

“Uh, well, you see…”

“Spit it out before I tear it out along with your tongue.” He threatened boredly.

“Siegfried wants to invite Karna and his brother to dinner this weekend.”

Hagen stared at him. His expressions soften from the face of a man about to kill him into a man about to drag his ass through an iron maiden. He gripped his ice cream close as a hand shot out and lifted him up from his collar. Despite his appearances, Hagen was disproportionately strong.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re insinuating Siegfried is considering inviting those idol boys to _my_ dinner preparation night.”

“Uh-!”

“And you certainly aren’t insinuating something so stupid, right _faker_?”

“You’re kinda choking me a litt-”

“_**Right?**_ _**Faker?**_”

“He would really appreciate it,” Sieg croaked out. 

“Eeeeeh,” the faux cheeriness was obvious, “I bet he would, and I bet I would really appreciate it if you would just choke on a-”

“AndJeanneofferedtopayforeverythingyou’dneed!” Sieg sputtered out quickly.

“...Oh?," He paused, "Miss Top Idol? Offering to pay for the dinner’s ingredients? _And_ equipment?”

Sieg nodded quickly, very desperate to get the hand holding his collar to let go. 

“Well then,” Hagen flashed a smile that reminded him of a hyena, “Why don’t you tell my _dear friend_ Siegfried I would just _love_ to have his _boyfriend_ and _his brother_ join us this weekend? And let your girlfriend know I _greatly_ appreciate her willingness to pay for it _all_ so I may allocate more money to my savings account. Alright, _Sieg_? Can I trust you to do that for me?”

_I’ve made a deal with the devil himself_, Sieg thought as he was dropped back down after he nodded frantically in agreement. 

“Thank you for your patronage, I hope you come back again soon.” He called out smugly as Sieg quickly left the truck. He was certain that the smile would be on his face all day. No, it would be there the entire time they were cooking for sure. Staring him down like a prey animal just in reach as he struggled to follow the exact instructions. It was a chilling image that Sieg thankfully only had to experience only a few times a year usually. However, he couldn’t focus on that right now. He had to make a call.

“Hey, Jeanne, I...may have done something very stupid...You have a disposal income to spare for a day right? … Uh, I may have promised Hagen something big...”

“You’re out of town?”

“_Just for a few days, we’ll be back in time for the dinner and its preparation. Just some family issues._”

“Will you be alright?”

“_Yes, I should be._”

“...What about your mother?”

“_Ah...well, as far as she’s concerned, I’m at home taking care of my poor sick younger brother._”

“...Who is also there?”

“_Yes, he is listening to this call. Say Hi Arjuna_.”

“_Take the phone away from me_.”

“_He says hi_.”

“Ah, tell him I say hello.”

“_Arjuna he says-_”

“_I heard him the first time_!”

“_Hm, well, we have to catch a train soon. I can call again after if you’d like_.”

“Ah, yes, I’d like that. I hope your trip goes well.”

“_If all goes to plan, it will. Talk to you soon_.”

Siegfried heard the line go dead and put his phone back onto his desk. He breathed out a sign, looking at the document on his screen. He wondered if the person who wanted to hire him realized he was dating the idol they wanted him to write the article about. That had to be a conflict of interest right? He was waiting a few more minutes before he began just in case they realized it. He had experiences with that before when someone came in asking him to write about Jeanne or Sieg, unaware of his connection to the both of them. That was a small downside to being a freelance writer he supposed. It didn’t help that they tended to pay pretty well too. At least the reputable ones. He still denied tabloids on principle. He had enough of those while living with his uncle. 

A notification that he had an email popped up. A quick glance let him know it had been the same person who had contacted him before. He briefly wondered if maybe he should start adding that to his list of what he won’t write. It probably would be best. But then again he still got requests for those. Maybe he should put it upfront instead of at the end. 

He was a bit sad at losing the article, it was a pretty nice payment being offered. Well, he did still have two others on the table, so it wasn’t as bad as it could be. As he checked the email a thought popped into his head. 

‘_Is this person asking to interview me now?_'

“Hey, Karna.”

“Hm?”

“How much of that tea have you had today?”

Karna looked down at the bottle, looking it over. It was nearly empty now. Considering the size, he guessed there had been two and a half servings in there.

“Two and a half...maybe? Why do you ask?”

“Isn’t that high in vitamin C?”

“It’s rosehip, so obviously.”

“Doesn’t your medication act up if you have more than a thousand milligrams?”

Karna blinked. He looked down at the bottle. He looked up from it. He looked back down at the bottle. Then, he looked over to Arjuna with a flat face.

“Please help me get to a bathroom.”

“This is why mother doesn’t let you travel without her normally, isn’t it?”

“Arjuna I _can_ and _will_ throw up all over you if you do not get me to a bathroom this instant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _And now, Quotes From Onyx_
> 
> Onyx: I've known brunnhilde for two minutes  
Onyx: But I want her to step on me
> 
> _This has been, Quotes From Onyx_

**Author's Note:**

> I'd appreciate it if you left your thoughts on the chapters, even if it's just a few words. I really love reading the comments.


End file.
